I believe it was Gandhi, maybe, who once said: “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”


Well a big ol’ mess of change just got dropped on your futures mates, as the new hosts for Triple J Breakfast for 2017 have been announced and stepping in to fill the Matt & Alex shaped hole are none other then Ben & Liam.

Ok, look, we’ve got no idea who they are either, so with a hearty middle finger to Gandhi, let’s have a look into the past and see what we can rustle up about the new dynamic duo, via good old fashion internet stalking!

1) THEY’RE COMEDIANS/COMMUNITY RADIO HOSTS FROM ADELAIDE AND THEY LOOK LIKE THIS

Yep, that one was easy. Here’s a smidge more from the offish JJJ release:

Ben Harvey grew up in Lewiston on two and a half acres of South Australian country land. Leaving school at 16, Ben worked on a dairy farm doing all the things you’d expect, like milking cows, driving tractors, delivering calves and wearing flannel shirts. Liam Stapleton grew up in suburban South Australia where the passion to entertain came early, doing his first show on Adelaide community station Fresh 92.7 at 15. When Ben turned 18, the farm boy moved to the city and started volunteering at community radio and from there Ben & Liam began. Both fans of stand-up comedy, they worked their way up through the Adelaide scene, competing in the South Australian Raw Comedy State Finals and selling out Ben & Liam’s Big Night of Wiffy Banter at Adelaide Fringe.


2) THEY’RE LEGIT PRETTY BLOODY FUNNY


The duo have been doing the radio thang at Adelaide’s Fresh 92.7 (from what I can tell it’s the FBi/4ZZZ/SYN of Adelaide) and a quick scroll through their recent ~online content~ does indeed provoke a hearty chuckle or three. Exhibit A, this incredibly on-point piss-take of commercial radio:

3) THEY’RE SUUUUUPER SIMILIAR TO MATT AND ALEX TBH

From our early, and frankly just plain lazy investigating so far, the similarities between Matt & Alex and Ben & Liam extend well beyond a shared amount of syllables. Perusing the boys’ online presence, the kind of stunts and activities the guys get up to seem almost eerily close to what we know (and love tbh) from Triple J breakfast past. Point and case the Radelaidian’s obsession with Darude and his filthy, filthy banger ‘Sandstorm‘. Sound famil?


4) THEIR MEME GAME IS KINDA WEAK TBH

A sneaky squiz at Ben & Liam’s Instagram however, and our optimism for the boys’ future takes a sharp, sudden drop. I’m just gonna come out and say it, their meme game is pathetic. And before you get into it, as Chief Memegineer here at Pedestrian.TV I am in fact highly qualified to judge/shit all over the memes-manship on offer here.

#DJMemeMonday @afrojack HA! Great Gear

A photo posted by Ben and Liam (@benandliam) on

Afrojack? Really?

UNREAL CONTENT for #DjMemeMonday from Alessandro. Pure ?????? @djsnake

A photo posted by Ben and Liam (@benandliam) on

IS IT UNREAL THO?

 

Thanks to Andrew for this cracker #DjMemeMonday submission. @timmytrumpet

A photo posted by Ben and Liam (@benandliam) on

Righto, that’ll do.


5) THEIR TWITTER EITHER GOT DELETED OR NEVER EXISTED

Although listed on the official Fresh 92.7 website as their official Twitter account, it turns out Ben and Liam’s Twitter presence has been deleted entirely. What are you hiding fellas? Blackface probably. That or it’s like, a website mistake, but almost definitely blackface.


6) BEN HARVEY ACTUALLY DIED IN 1904 AND MAY IN FACT BE AN IMMORTAL BEING

Ok so we kind of ran out of places to search the guys, but a quick look at Ancestry.com reveals a Ben Harvey, born in 1824, died all the way back in 1904. Mere coincidence? This writer, says almost conclusively not. Are YOU cool with an ageless being/reverse vampire working at our ABC? Didn’t think so.

That’s it, my scrolling finger is sore. Ben & Liam take over Triple J Breakfast, and possibly our very nation, in early 2017. P.TV wishes them all the best. 

Image: Facebook / Ben & Liam.