Coachella is done and dusted – literally – for another year. Kendrick humbled us, Lorde floored us, and Hans Zimmer brought a 50-person orchestra to the desert for an almost spiritual rendition of ‘The Circle of Life‘ from ‘The Lion King’.
PEDESTRIAN.TV were there to witness the magic and mayhem of 125,000 people trying to catch 150+ artists on seven stages and not completely lose their mates (or their mind) in the process.
Here’s just a taste of what we overheard
[On the bus to the festival]
Very optimistic girl to her friend: “I hope they do something about the dust this year.”[On the walk in]
Guy selling bottles of water: “Water! Gluten-free water!”
Idiot walking past [does a double take]: “Wait, really?!”Bloke on the phone near the entrance: “Nah it’s fine, yeah, they’re not really checking.”
Girl to stranger who is clearly about two-and-a-half metres tall: “Wow. You’re like, really tall.”
Tall boy: *says nothing*
Dude #1 (shirtless): “Nah nah dude it’s fine, just take it off.”
Dude #2: *takes off shirt*
[During a lull in Lady Gaga’s set]
Girl to friend: “This better be Beyoncé.”
(It was not Beyoncé.)Girl to friends: “I better not see that bitch again in my life.”
[Outside the VIP area.]
Dude to his friend: “You see that? That’s VIP. That’s elitism man. We [gestures] cannot [shakes hands] go in there [points at VIP area].”
Unfortunate girl roped into this conversation: “That’s capitalism for you.”
Dude #1: “No, that’s fascist capitalism.”
[Girl makes hasty exit.]Literally every second of the entire festival when walking through a crowd:
“Sorry.”
“Sorry champ.”
“Oh wow sorry about that.”
“No no, not at all”.
[Americans are disturbingly polite.]Man on the phone: [forgets the word ‘Ferris Wheel’] “Yeah yeah we’re near the uh, ferris-go-round.”
Girl: *walks into toilet cubicles*
Friend walking out of toilet cubicles: “No no, you are absolutely not peeing in there.”Girl: *pulling up her booty shorts* they… won’t…. go…. any…. higher.
Friend (helpfully): “Can you tuck them into your thong?”Very white girl at the pool the day after Coachella: “We tried to watch Kendrick Lamar but it was just too ghetto, you know?”
Coachella’s all wrapped up for another year, so ’til next time, you sweaty, dust-infused riot of a time.
The writer travelled to Coachella courtesy of Air New Zealand and Visit California.
