Halsey Speaks For 1st Time About Performing Hours After A Miscarriage

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US singer-songwriter Halsey  – who has srsly blown up over the last 12 months or so, collabing with Justin Bieber and performing one of the best Like A Versions in recent memory – has given an extremely intimate, no-holds barred interview to Rolling Stone.
In it, the 21-year-old New Jersey native opens up for the first time about suffering a miscarriage last year – and performing mere hours later, because she didn’t feel cancelling was an option without harming her career.
Halsey was prompted to share her story after reading a piece by the interviewer Alex Morris in the lead-up to their sitdown, in which she herself wrote about her experience with miscarriage.
Here’s the excerpt from the interview:

“I felt like I was suffocating reading that article,” she says. “Like someone put a shopping bag over my head. I didn’t want to meet you at all. I was really terrified of you, because I knew as soon as I saw you, I was going to need to tell you that last year on tour I got pregnant.” Then, at a breathless pace, she’s describing being in a hotel room in Chicago before Badlands even came out, back when her whole career could have easily been ruined (“What happens? Do I lose my record deal? Do I lose everything? Or do I keep [the pregnancy]? What are the fans going to think? What are the moms going to think? What is the Midwest going to think? What’s fucking everyone going to think?”), and before she can even decide what to do, she’s screaming on a hotel bed, bloody, naked from the waist down, hours before she’s to go onstage. “I’m like, ‘I have to cancel this show!’ And everyone’s kind of like, ‘Well, it’s Vevo LIFT, and it’s 3 million impressions, so …’ No one knew what to do.” Eventually, Halsey sent her assistant to the drugstore to buy adult diapers. She put one on, took two Percocet and went to the venue to do her job. “It’s the angriest performance that I’ve ever done in my life,” she says, her voice breaking. “That was the moment of my life where I thought to myself, ‘I don’t feel like a fucking human being anymore.’ This thing, this music, Halsey, whatever it is that I’m doing, took precedence and priority over every decision that I made regarding this entire situation from the moment I found out until the moment it went wrong. I walked offstage and went into the parking lot and just started throwing up.”

Halsey later tells Rolling Stone that she wants to be a mum more than she wants to be a pop star, and blames herself for the miscarriage.

“I think that the reason it happened is just the lifestyle I was living. I wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t doing drugs. I was fucking overworked – in the hospital every couple of weeks because I was dehydrated, needing bags of IVs brought to my green room. I was anaemic, I was fainting. My body just broke the fuck down.”

Since the article went live, thousands of people have been both offering messages of support to Halsey; there have also been a bunch of cockheads who’ve used her admission as an opportunity to bully her, ‘cos people are fucked.

Halsey – who is biracial, bipolar and bisexual – is no stranger to experiencing widespread vitriol, and has spoken publicly about all three of these aspects of her life before.

“It makes me upset to have people abusing me for A,B,C or D online and it’s not because I’m over sensitive; it’s not because I take it to heart; it’s not because I’m overdramatic; it’s because I have a mental illness,” she told PEDESTRIAN.TV earlier this year.

Watch our full interview with her below:

Source: Rolling Stone.

Photo: Twitter / Halsey.

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