Kanye West, AKA the greatest artist of all time, AKA future president of the United States of America, AKA the ultimate Gemini, is a man of many talents. Yeah, sure, he’s a bit odd — but the geniuses always are. Now, I know there are a lot of you out there who simply aren’t fans of Ye, I get it — not everyone has taste. It’s fine.
We’re not here to argue about his facial features, or convert atheists into believers. We’re here instead to discuss his albums, every single one of them — not whether they’re good, or which one is better than the other — that’s low vibration energy; they’re all good. We’re here instead to ponder which food goes best with every Kanye album. Why? Well, why the hell not man?
The College Dropout (2004) — Arancini, Boost Juice & maple syrup
In October 2002, a young Kanye West was in a near-fatal car accident that resulted in him being hospitalised and his jaw wired shut as part of reconstructive surgery. Two weeks after the incident that almost took his life, he recorded his debut single — ‘Through The Wire’, with his jaw still wired shut.
In the song, he says “I drink a Boost for breakfast, an Ensure for dessert. Somebody ordered pancakes, I just sip the sizzurp.” What better way to honour the start of an iconic career than to indulge in some nice, easily swallowed Boost and syrup?
As for the arancini? Well, The College Dropout was our first taste of the genius that is Kanye West — the perfect appetizer. Complex, palatable, exciting, and leaving you wanting so much more.
Late Registration (2005) — Chicken Soup & KFC
Luckily for literally everyone, the world didn’t have to wait too long for the second course. The College Dropout was the scintillating appetizer, but Late Registration was the affirmation that Kanye was here to stay. Once again an eclectic blend of tracks that excite the psyche and warm the soul.
In ‘Hey Mama’, the moving rendition dedicated to his now late mother Donda, Kanye sings of her famous chicken soup — “You fixed me up something that was good for my soul. Famous homemade chicken soup, can I have another bowl?”
And on the other end of the spectrum, we’re going to indulge in some 11 herbs & spices in honour of the iconic line from ‘Touch The Sky’ — “Before anybody wanted K. West beats, me and my girl split the buffet at KFC.”
Graduation (2007) — H’orderves & champagne
If The College Dropout unified the underground and mainstream hip-hop sound, and Late Registration marked a somewhat darker and more soul-searching Kanye, Graduation is the culmination of this era. More soul-searching, more influential. By now, Kanye had indisputably made it. Time to crack out the champagne and order the h’orderves.
“Order the h’orderves, views of the water. Straight from the page of your favourite author,” — ‘Flashing Lights’.
808s & Heartbreak (2008) — Ben & Jerry’s
808s changed the game. You into Drake? Kid Cudi? Frank Ocean? You know, the whole sad rapper talks about their feelings R&B sound that’s so cool right now? Thank 808s for that. Released after the death of his mother and a particularly harrowing break up, 808s marked a new direction for Kanye and hip hop as a whole.
Stark, minimal, and oh so sad. Time to get all up in your feelings and devour a whole tub of Ben & Jerry’s my friend. It’s going to be a long night.
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010) — Fish sticks, followed by a whole 7-course meal from the fanciest restaurant you can afford
First of all, you’re going to wanna order a round of fish sticks in honour of the iconic South Park episode featuring the man himself, which Kanye references in the song ‘Gorgeous’ — “Choke a South Park writer with a fish stick.”
Pair those fish sticks with the fanciest all-out dining experience you can afford, as anything less will simply not do justice to an album that is so indisputably great. The only way to describe My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is ‘masterpiece’. A deep, powerful commentary on celebrity, and all the dizzying highs and crushing lows that come with it. This album is an absolute treat for the senses from start to finish, so only a full-on five-star dining experience will suffice.
Yeezus (2013) — HSP
I was tempted to say this album would go perfectly with a bucket of fish heads and LSD due to the sheer god-rejecting chaotic nature of it, or croissants, mostly because of this line from ‘I am a God’ I love so much – “In a French-ass restaurant. Hurry up with my damn croissants,” he says, before repeating “I am a God” three times. Ugh, the raw, delusional power. Love it.
But then my friend Bo made a very good point: “It has to be HSP for Yeezus surely. It’s a chaotic f-cking mess, but you’ll revisit it every so often because it’s good, although not entirely good for you. Some could say it’s very painful at the start but once you’ve dipped your feet a little bit, it’s so good.”
Couldn’t have said it better myself, Bo.
The Life of Pablo (2016) — Ratatouille
The Life of Pablo is a beautiful mosaic of voices. Chock full of features from artists like Chance the Rapper, Rihanna, Kendrick, The Weeknd, Frank Ocean, Kid Cudi, the list goes on. And yet, all these flavours are delicately balanced, resulting in a fresh, palatable experience that leaves you wanting more — just like the lovely vegetarian French dish, ratatouille.
But why are we going vego here? In honour of these lines from ‘30 Hours’, of course — “I wake up, all veggies no eggs. I hit the gym, all chest no legs. Yep, then I made myself a smoothie. Yeah, then me and wifey make a movie.”
Ye (2018) — McDonald’s
By 2018, Kanye was making more headlines for his manic episodes than his music. The album cover references his bipolar disorder, “I hate being Bi-Polar it’s awesome.” The album itself has a relatively short run-time at 23 minutes. It’s fast, it’s punchy, and it’s a valid, open commentary on dealing with mental health struggles.
It’s fast food, but it’s damn good. Kanye has never shied away from his love of McDonald’s, in 2016 he penned a whole poem in honour of the fast-food chain, which appeared in a magazine accompanying Frank Ocean’s sophomore album, Blonde.
KANYE WROTE A RAP ABOUT MCDONALDS FOR FRANK’S MAGAZINE, IM DEAD pic.twitter.com/qdr2Ub2YNs
— i’m mr sterling everything (@duddersj) August 21, 2016
He’s also tweeted about the chain many times in the past, claiming it as his favourite restaurant in 2018, the same year he released Ye. So it’s only fitting to order some Micky Dees for this one.
https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/1059088750062428160
Jesus Is King (2019) — Communion bread
Do I really need to explain this one?
Donda (2021?) — $50 hot dogs and $60 cookies (AUD)
Come on @kanyewest 👀 pic.twitter.com/3zoIFwWDH7
— Rich O’Toole (@RichOToole) July 23, 2021
But don’t count on them arriving on time.
Planning a Kanye listening party? Hit up DoorDash to take care of all your culinary needs and deliver them straight to your door, so you can spend less time stressing on sorting your food, and more time immersing yourself in the undisputed lyrical genius of our time.
