Let me preface everything I’m about to say by unequivocally stating that you do not need alcohol to have a good time. Lots of fun things can happen when you’re sober and there are people out there who don’t drink at all who still seem to have a fairly joyous time of things regardless. In saying that, though, it certainly helps.
While award shows might seem fun and exciting when you’re watching a curated collection of the highlights while you’re pantsless and watching from the comfort of your own home, I imagine that sitting through the whole thing completely immobile while a bunch of people you don’t really know or care about give lengthy speeches would feel somewhat similar to how parents feel going to their kids’ music recitals – amazing for about three minutes and extremely tedious for the rest.
Luckily, though, either nature or God gave us a way to deal with these things: the hip flask. Compact, stylish and, best of all, highly effective, it’s the perfect way to maintain a gentle buzz over the course of an evening without having to carry around two tallies of VB tucked under your arms.
Apparently, it’s a technique not just reserved for people who still want to go out when they can’t afford to buy drinks, with Rihanna bringing the cheeky swill from a hip flask to the Grammys in characteristic style:
Rihanna with the flask?!?!? pic.twitter.com/gGi8nfPp6O
— ………… (@LaLaChannell) February 13, 2017
We can only guess at what she’s drinking in that diamond-crusted beauty, but I’m going to go out on a limb and state for the record that it’s Talisker Port Ruighe, although I say this based on literally nothing at all.
Keen-eyed fans managed to catch cheeky snippets of Rihanna giving the camera some absolutely filthy side-eye while carefully secreting the flask somewhere about her person:
every thanksgiving dinner pic.twitter.com/iQysElGVU7
— Mark (@tole_cover) February 13, 2017
Even keener-eyed fans managed to lip-read a suggestion that it was time to tuck into the booze again. Incredible:
“I think it’s time for a shot” pic.twitter.com/lCivGDzMnm
— Ultimate Rihanna (@URihannaFansite) February 13, 2017
That woman knows how to party sitting down.
Photo: Getty Images / Christopher Polk.
