The latest chapter in the Calvin Harris–Taylor Swift breakup saga is here, and it’s more beautiful than we could ever imagine, with Cosmopolitan Magazine entering the fray and publishing a piece that calls the Scottish DJ “Hollywood’s greatest fuckboy.”
The article comes a few days after the news that Taylor had a hand in writing the Calvin Harris-Rihanna smash ‘This Is What You Came For’, and writer Mariah Smith takes him to task for the way he handled the whole situation.
Her character assassination begins:
“Once upon a time, in the middle of nowhere Scotland, a young boy crooked of teeth and void of attraction named Adam Wiles was born. The child, finding ways to occupy his time, took solace in electronic music and disc jockeying. As time is wont to do, it passed, and now we know the young boy Adam as Calvin Harris, a stage name he took because it “sounded black.” How … sweet. With the new name, Calvin also bought himself a new look/face. He straightened the teeth, sought out the best stylists his DJing funds could buy, and started a new life full of fame and reckless behavior.”
Yowza, that is some scorching hot internet content right there. After a forensic analysis of Harris’ recent conduct, in which she takes him to task for negging Swift and his other ex, Rita Ora, the piece comes to the conclusion that:
“We’ve seen this in the fuckboy species time and time again. They compliment their prey, and make them feel special and included. Then, once the prey is on a fuckboy high, they denounce their worth, talent, or moment, and end the cycle with yet another compliment and wishes for continued well-being. This man is trained.”
Harris initially Tweeted out a response to the piece, then thought better of the attention this would bring and deleted it. Thankfully, we’ll always have this screenshot:
Cosmo’s writer is currently revelling in the newfound attention:
There’s burning your bridges, then there’s completely nuking the site from orbit, and Cosmo have definitely done the latter in this case. This has been your daily reminder to never post.
Source: Cosmopolitan.
Photo: James Devaney / Getty.
