Sometime late last year, after a considerably spirited night on the turps, my good friend Sophie turned on a song that would change the way we hooned for time eternal. She took over the speakers we had hooked up and blasted Mambo No. 5 – the iconic Lou Bega hit. But instead of Mr Bega’s dulcet rap tones ringing out over the speakers, it was jaunty pan pipes hooting and tooting the melody. It was this moment that made us realise that pan pipes are absolutely the best music for kick ons, and I simply must bring it to your consideration for when the kick ons return to us.

1. Pan Pipes Keep The Hoon Levels High At Kick Ons

Something that can severely affect the humble kick on is the energy levels. If you’ve been out having a Big Boog and generally just being a gremlin at a pub, club, or house party (remember those? lol) it’s hard to take it back home to kick on until the wee hours of the morning, or if you’re determined – the first lick of sunrise.

I put it to you that playing a well-known song with fun little pan pipes dooting along in place of the lyrics has the ability to noticeably lift the mood and energy of any gathering who may be flirting dangerously with retiring to bed.

The trick, especially for those who have not been exposed to pan pipes, is in the bait and switch of the wind instrument. When a song is put on with zero warning or any kind of heads up (like Mambo No. 5) the average kick ons attendee will assume it’s the regular song they know and love.

But when that panpipe hits – and it does indeed hit different – the associated rush of serotonin immediately elevated the general mood and energy of the group, allowing kick ons to extend further into the night (with enthusiastic dancing.)

2. There’s A Pan Pipe Cover For Every Mood

Perhaps you’re wanting kick ons to have more of an alternative mood, to follow the hours you’ve just spent at the local indie club night singing along to Oasis and The Strokes. I can tell you, there’s a pan pipes cover album for that.

My friend Freya came across an artist called Never Mind The Pan Pipes on Spotify one evening, and immediately chucked on the cover of The Fratellis‘ hit, Chelsea Dagger. It fit the mood perfectly, and we went on to play through the entire Indie Pan Pipe Hits album, which you can explore in the provided link.

If you’re after a more sombre mood, perhaps for winding down the evening and gently urging people to head on home, consider something gentler and soothing, like the theme from The Godfather or The Beatles classic, Here Comes The Sun.

3. You Can Start The Pan Pipes Early If You’re Smart

In the very short window where we were allowed back at the pub down here in Melbourne, we had dinner at a local favourite haunt. Sitting in a private dining room, we noticed an AUX cord sticking out of the wall and an ability to change the music playing on the speakers in the room. This was an excellent chance to revisit the hoon early with an approved public pan pipes session.

If you’re able to overtake a venue’s PA system to play everyone pan pipes, you’re truly setting an entire establishment up for a good night – or they might just use it as the last song of the night to get everyone to fuck off. Either way, more people are exposed to the magic of panpipes and can take it to their respective kick ons.

Is there anything more fitting than chucking on Enya‘s Oricono Flow in a packed pub? No.

So when the hoon returns to us, possibly in 2021, please consider bringing pan pipes to your next available kick ons session. The mood will always be right for a little doot and toot of the humble panpipe, trust me.

Image: E4 / Skins