To celebrate the coming of Movember, Australia’s month long affair with well manicured mos and non-ironic porn ‘staches, Pedestrian asked Movember ambassador Benjamin Law to compile a list of the iconic lip-ticklers that changed his life. We heard from fellow Movember ambassador Clem Bastow yesterday so let’s see how Law’s list compares in the key mo-metrics of virility, girth, uniqueness, pop culture relevance and twistability.
Each year, Movember raises vital funds/awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and depression. To keep abreast of their hirsute endeavours, add Movember on Facebook and Twitter or check here for the dates and venues of their recently announced Gala Partés.
Take it away, Ben.
Tom Selleck
Before men got muscled, waxed and twinked to death, they were appreciated for being hairy, masculine and firm-bodied. There’s still a whole generation of women (and men) out there who still hold up Tom Selleck as their ideal man and return to thoughts of him in lonelier moments. I think this photo-complete with Tom in short-shorts-confirms why. You’re welcome.
Borat
Don’t be fooled by the mankini and accent. We all know Sacha Baron Cohen is a goddamn handsome wolf in real life. I just find it distressing that I found him pretty attractive in this get-up as well. I’m pretty sure it was the moustache that did it.
Pai Mei (Kill Bill 2)
Who could forget lovable Pai Mei, with his ridiculously luxurious facial hair in Kill Bill 2? When I’m a Chinese septuagenarian with snow-white facial and pubic hair, I look forward to growing a similarly long face-mane to stroke and chuckle over. I anticipate that I’ll be easily amused by then.
Joseph Stalin
First of all: Calm down. Sure he was responsible for the deaths of countless millions and those horrific gulags, but wasn’t he bracingly handsome before he became a monster? Yes he was! That sleek Brylcreemed mess of hair! Those deep, calf-like brown eyes! And finally, all that handsome facial hair. Yes, we’re all going to hell.
Monkey
Not technically a human, but man: isn’t that an amazing moustache? And I just love the knowingly nonchalant look he’s giving to the camera. “Whatever, guys.” Respect to you, monkey friend. Respect.
Benjamin Law is a Brisbane-based freelance writer. He is a senior contributor to Frankie Magazine, and his work has also appeared in The Monthly, Qweekend, Sunday Life, The Big Issue, New Matilda and The Courier Mail. We recently talked to him about his debut book, The Family Law, here. Benjamin tweets here and his past work can be read here.
