Popular Starbucks order Ariana Grande is in Australia at the moment having finally broken free of the perception that she’s perpetually 16-years-old, allowing her to – in her own words – become who she really are.

Grande, 21, allegedly, has been in the country for the last few days tasked with the unenviable business of ‘doing press’ to promote her second album, My Everything. While it may look to an outsider like an amazing life full to the gunwales with custom cupcakes and yoghurt water, a life spent doing Publicity on both sides of the trench is actually akin to a war of attrition waged daily in a glamorous, blistering spotlight: the movements of every act are negotiated by legion handlers, every question is subject to approval, every angle is vetted so it has the best possible outcome for both parties. Today, Ariana Grande is being drawn and quartered for knowing hers.  

Her best angle, that is. 

[ICYMI, that’s ‘shot from the left; chin down, head turned 33° CCW with a slight tilt of ~7° on a vertical axis, lashes set to *dazzle*.]

Grande has come under intense journalistic scrutiny from several print publications after yesterday committing not unheard of acts of apparently heinous and criminal “diva” behaviour. These include asking for certain topics of conversation to be taken off the table (her late grandfather; her embarrassing history of working with Justin Bieber) and requesting that she only be shot from her left side (feel that, Ariana) under lights befitting her level of stardom [blinding]. 

Combined, all these things which could be attributed to good business savvy and a strong personal branding ethos – and all of which are part and parcel of having access to one of the biggest acts on the planet – apparently constitute instead “one Grande hissy fit and dummy spit.

Precise details of Grande’s alleged diva antics are sparse. What we do know is that while sitting for a portrait that would’ve appeared in mX newspaper, a publication popular for its usefulness as a barrier between you and the train seat, Grande and her handlers reportedly reviewed and requested that certain photos be deleted – a request refused by the photographer. This then resulted in the cancellation of that portion of the afternoon reserved for pictures, followed by the tearing asunder of all logic and reason. 

That being said, the interview Grande conducted an hour later with the Sydney Morning Herald makes it a lot harder to come to her defence for too much longer. 

When told inexplicably by The Herald “she brought the sunshine to Sydney”, Grande replies, “I love the rain, I’m sorry I missed it.” When asked if she has changed at all in the interim since first coming to attention on Nickelodeon and attaining global superstardom, Ariana says she is “wildly different.” Then, when asked if she would like to go back in time to be a 16-year-old again, she replies, “I’m the same. I’m honestly the same.” It’s all very interesting, pretty confusing and very important.

The Daily Telegraph too have taken affront at Grande’s refusal to answer their questions after the “diva tantrum”.

Those questions include, but are not limited to: “Do you think you could beat James Blunt in a tweet off?”, “How much longer will the bedazzled leotard reign as the female pop star onstage uniform,” and “When will you retire the ponytail?”

Knowing now as we do that this is the kind of inane badgering Grande is subject to everyday, the fact that she hasn’t yet killed a man (that we know of) is a feat for which we should reward her with a great deal of praise. 

Carry on, Grande. 

via The Daily Telegraph

Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images