Facebook Marketplace is an incredible pocket of the internet. Any given day you’ll find yourself scrolling through all sorts of crap on there that people want to get rid of; a real trash and treasure situation. This week, something curious appeared amongst the online trading post: an ARIA Award won by The Cruel Sea in 1994, which was stolen and (jokingly?) held at ransom.
The story goes that this particular pointy boy — which possibly hasn’t seen Tex Perkins‘ mantlepiece in nearly 30 years — was allegedly stolen from the band on the evening of the awards following a fracas between Tex and a boozed-up punter after they attacked photographer (and Tex’s partner) Kristyna Higgins, who also won an award that night.
And now the pointed award has found itself on Facebook Marketplace going for a starting price of $1 (or whatever offered amount) some 27 years later.
The post was mysteriously removed by 11am on Thursday morning, but PEDESTRIAN.TV got eyes on it before it was taken down from FB Marketplace.
Per a story run in a newspaper at the time (which also comes with the Marketplace sale) the people who nicked the award — and named themselves ‘Tex Will Not Answer Our Demands’ — sent a ransom note to Triple J with a list of demands to be met before the shiny award would be returned.
“We have an ARIA award — we pinched it right for the common good,” the note read.
“That sterling band The Cruel Sea, or Schindler’s Sea as we prefer to know them now, turned their heads for a second and we nicked it. Ask them.”
The group went on to demand that Australian visas wouldn’t be granted to Bryan Adams, Richard Marx and Michael Bolton for reasons unknown (but feels specific and weird), that Matthew Krok was “exterminated” from TV after his run in Hey Dad…!, and assurances that Cruel Sea guitarist James Cruickshank wasn’t actually booted out of the band.
Apparently, the seller has been offered up to $1000 for the lost award and claims he found it “in the bin” not long after he found the newspaper clipping.
So I guess if you’re after a piece of Australian music history and you’ve got a few bucks left over from what your grandparents gave you in your Christmas card this year, you could get your very own ARIA award at a real steal here.
I dunno about you but I wanna buy it just to give it back to Tex Perkins and try to restore the balance of the universe as much as possible.Image: Getty Images / Kristian Dowling / Facebook Marketplace