A+ Judge Uses Taylor Swift Lyrics To Dismiss Bogus ‘Shake It Off’ Lawsuit

On a hot summer’s day in December, some 50-odd years ago, United States District Court judge Gail Standish was born.
Every day, every hour, every minute, every second of her life since has been building to this one, glorious moment – the moment she hands down a fuckin’ amazing verdict using the lyrics to Taylor Swift‘s ‘Shake It Off’.
Bit of background before we get into the good stuff: a non-vital figure in the R&B community, a rapper named Jesse Braham, recently went gunning for a $42 million slice of TayTay’s pie because she apparently (but definitely didn’t) stole 92% of her banger ‘Shake It Off’ from his unknown song ‘Hater Gonna Hate’.
To cut short a long, sad story of a man’s attempt to fame-whore himself, the case was today thrown out of court due to a lack of any *actual* evidence.
But was Judge Standish going to let something as serious as the legal system ruin her fun? HELL NA.
This is legitimately what she wrote in her dismissal, AKA the Single Greatest Moment Of Her Life.
“At present, the Court is not saying that Braham can never, ever, ever get his case back in court. But, for now, we have got problems, and the Court is not sure Braham can solve them. As currently drafted, the Complaint has a blank space—one that requires Braham to do more than write his name. And, upon consideration of the Court’s explanation . . . Braham may discover that mere pleading Band-Aids will not fix the bullet holes in his case. At least for the moment, Defendants have shaken off this lawsuit.”
Taylor and her #squad applaud you, Judge Standish, their newest recruit.