There are those rare moments in movies that really touch you deeply in the soul. For some, it’s cliche like that Titanic scene – which for the record could definitely have seen both Rose and Jack survive but anyway I digress. For me, that movie moment is the fairy godmother’s rendition of ‘I Need A Hero’ in Shrek 2. Don’t get me wrong, the song was a banger when originally released but this rendition catapulted it to god status.
It’s one of those bizarre, audacious, all-consuming animated moments that sticks with you and burns itself in your brain. I might forget where I parked my car but I will never forget the exact moment the godmother waved her magic wand and was suddenly wearing a sparkly red dress. Sprawled atop a baby grand piano, she proceeded to bless the ears of all viewers with her dazzling performance and a level of confidence that can only be achieved by mythical figures.
So why am I yammering on about something that happened in 2004? First of all, I do that a lot but there’s actually a good reason for my sudden burst of nostalgia. I was watching TV the other day when I saw an unlikely advert that made me feel like a starry-eyed seven-year old again.
The ad is for health insurance of all things. Basically, HBF won’t be hiking their premium health insurance fees for 2020, and they’re letting everyone know through cartoon quokkas singing a spin-off of ‘I Need A Hero.’ It’s a lot to digest (in the best possible way).
While both versions slap (hard), I had such strong, nostalgic visions of the fairy godmother that I felt compelled to rightfully honour her pipes. After several years of pondering, I’ve come to the logical conclusion that this whimsical womans talents cant simply stop at this one song. Maybe if we all clap and cheer hard enough, she’ll pop out of Far Far Away for a cheeky encore. And when she does, boy will I be armed with a list of requests as long as pinocchio’s nose (post-lie of course).
Without further ado, here’s the 13 songs I’d politely demand this magical woman to sing if it so pleased her. Yes, I’m really out here doing god’s work.
As we know, all songs performed by the glorious godmother will be performed in C minor. Hit it!
Fairy Godmother’s ‘I Need A Cover’ Album
- It’s Raining Men – The Weather Girls
- That Don’t Impress Me Much – Shania Twain
- I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
- I’m Every Woman – Chaka Khan
- Good As Hell – Lizzo
- Dreams – Fleetwood Mac
- Toxic – Britney Spears
- Respect – Aretha Franklin
- Beautiful – Christina Aguilera
- Hold On – Wilson Phillips
- Since U Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson
- We Belong Together – Mariah Carey
Bonus Track
- Horses – Daryl Braithwiate (I had to, it’s a real party starter)
