Last night I watched the pun-tastic Justice doco “A Cross The Universe” which despite the band’s popularity was pretty damn boring. Unlike Soulwax’s “Part of the Weekend Never Dies” the audience is never allowed to empathize with or get to know the shaggy haired Parisians who I remained pretty indifferent to throughout the film. The bulk of the humanization is left instead to a kooky supporting cast which includes a gun-toting wannabe-gangster tour manager, an endearingly docile bus driver (who claims he can vocalize the lowest note humanly possible), and a swag of excruciatingly dumb groupies. Like real dumb.
I didn’t go away empty handed though, there are lessons to be learnt from the hedonistic pursuit of sex, drugs and rock and roll or in a larger sense the American Dream. In the morning all you’re left with is a hangover and the slim chance of venereal disease. So for your personal enlightenment here are the top ten things I learnt while watching “A Cross The Universe” *spoiler warning*…
10) PETA should probably watch the doco – Gaspard thinks it’s funny to feed ducks pharmaceuticals.
9) Some girl Gaspard kissed at Parklife Adelaide gets her desperate groupie on via email.
8) Gaspard is a bit of a man whore. Xavier loves “Under The Bridge” by RHCP.
7) Some douche got “the cross” tattooed on his body. Twice.
6) Texas has lenient gun laws.
5) Vegas marriages are a beautiful thing.
4) Xavier was forced to bottle an over zealous frat boy then was arrested. Justice is served (sorry).
3) Groupies are usually 5’s with an IQ of 50.
2) They each own about a million varying leather jackets.
1) At the end of the day they’re just like us. Except a bit more arrogant, misogynistic and douchey (can you blame them though).
