A Bunch Of Very Good Examples Why Drunk You Shouldn’t Access Your Money

A Bunch Of People Who Spent Money On Stupid Things When Their Judgement Was Impaired

I have to be honest here, this whole article was really inspired by someone (who shall remain nameless but is defintely quoted below) in the office who is constantly receiving packages at work. When we ask what she bought, without fail her answer will start with ‘well I was drunk the other night…’ Personally, I do all my stupid spending when I’m either sad (looking at you big break up that cost me 3 grand of unnecessary-yet-fab wardrobe boosters) or home sick. Because apparently I’m delirious and really believe I can pull things off that I just can’t?

Anyway, for your amusement, here’s a bunch of stupid things people I work with or know have bought while their judgement has been impaired and they forget how to adult. Don’t even pretend it hasn’t happened to you. But we’ll all try to be more sensible in future, yeah?

I was feeling super lonely after a breakup and bought a budgy fresh out of high school, as in a bird. His name was Buckley and he passed away when I went on my Euro Trip 2014. Mum kept him in the freezer until I came home so I could say goodbye.
-Georgia

I was 100% not sober at a friends birthday doo. The wife of one of my mates had tickets with her friends to go to that RnB Fridays festival, the one with Usher, Salt N Peppa and such. She wasn’t even AT the party but I decided to call her, invite myself and buy a $200 ticket that it turns out isn’t even in the same section as they’ll be in. I don’t even really like Usher? I’m not sad about Ginuwine though.
-Me

I get drunk and buy fancy food stuff, like luxe olive oils, handmade pastas etc that I really dont need and sober me will definintely not use. I also do this when I’m sad.
-Mahalia

the dog is alcohol, coming to waste your $$

My ex- boyfriend bought the nicest ring online. When it arrived we didn’t remember him buying it, and it was too small for him. It did fit my pinky though. I lost it after we broke up, very symbolic of our relationship. 

I also spent $200 on rings for myself at Mountain sounds. All of them were too large for my fingers. So sad.
-Kristy

I drunkenly bought flights to Bali with 4 of the boys. The catch was that it was leaving the next day. I’ve never been so hungover on a plane in my life! Turned into a great holiday though. 
-Bear

One night I was drunkenly complaining to my boyfriend’s best friend during a chat about NBA that I used to have a New York Knicks jersey as a kid (specifically a Patrick Ewing one) but mum had rudely given it away to a family friend because “I thought it was your brother’s and he said he didn’t want it”.

The guy pointed out “Josie, you’re a strong independent woman now, why don’t you just… buy a new one”. And under the influence of way too many wines I was like “You’re right! I’m gonna!” I tracked one down on eBay and hit “Buy It Now” at the bargain price of $50 (plus postage). A week later I was sitting at work minding my own business and got a delivery, and I had no memory of actually buying anything. I ripped the package open and there was my Knicks jersey – it honestly took me a few minutes to actually recall how it came to be in my possession.

You think I’d learn my lesson not to drink and shop but I haven’t – surprise deliveries are a regular occurrence for me. 
-Josie

the exact face when an unknown package arrives.

It’s pretty standard to be generous buying drinks for other people when you’re drunk, but one time I went a bit extra and I bought 12 espresso martinis for people at work that didn’t ask or want them. They were legit sitting there melting. Not even strangers had them.
-Dom

I was home sick with a fever, was reading Pedestrian.TV because I just love my work ok?, saw this article and decided that I too should own an Aussie designer dress that Kylie Jenner had paraded around on her Instagram. I mean, I do love the dress, but honestly, calm down me.
-Also me

And my personal favourite:

I got a package delivered to college when I was living on campus at uni and it was a talking E.T. Doll that I traced back to buying off eBAY for $190 when really drunk at a UNSW Oktoberfest party back in 2011. I’ve still got the E.T doll and still have no idea what conversation led to me buying it off eBAY.
-Kath

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