Christmas is about family! NOT, Christmas is about getting presents. Presents you want. Presents that cost a lot of money and you can’t afford with your shitty income.

I spend a lot of November and most of December thinking about what to ask my family, the ones with money, for. The gift must be pricey, but something I wouldn’t throw my own cash at. Useful, because a) let’s not be wasteful in this planet crisis and b) what is the point if you won’t like it in two months. It’s difficult.

But because my job is to shop (thank Christ) I have rounded up some primo gifts I think you should ask your own cashed up family/friends for this Christmas.

1. By Charlotte Purity Sleepers

14K White Gold Purity Sleepers, $155

As someone who wears earrings every day, and has multiple-pierced ears, I’ve been eyeing off these pricey-but-well-made sleepers for a while. They come in white gold and yellow gold, and they’re exactly what I’m talking about – a useful gift that will last you forever.

2. Oral B Genius AI Electric Toothbrush

AI Toothbrush, $249

Do I want a toothbrush that could maybe develop into a sentient being? You bet your sweet bippy I do! Teeth – trust me on this – should be cared for and nurtured otherwise you’ll walk into the dentist one day and he’ll be like “hello friend, you need five painful fillings”.

No one wants to pay for a fancy toothbrush – ask your parents for it!

3. Dyson Pure Hot+Cool Purifier Fan Heater

Pure Hot+Cool Fan Heater, $899

Got some really, really rich grandparents? Get them to buy you this luxe fan heater. It works to cool or to heat your room, but most interestingly purifies the air as it goes. I have one, and it’s really doing wonders during this Sydney smoke situation.

4. Le Labo Santal 33 Eau De Parfum

Le Labo Santal 33 EDP, from $282

You know that unisex-vibe fragrance you smell on people that makes you turn your head and wonder what they’re wearing? This is that fragrance. I swear it.

5. Shhh Silk Pillowcases

Shhh Silk Pillowcase Queen Set, $179

Take it from someone who uses these every night – they are legit, but goddamn they’re expensive. If you can convince someone else to buy you a set, you’re laughing. Basically silk pillowcases help keep your hair split-end free, help your skin by not absorbing your skincare/face oils like cotton can… they also just feel fucking lush.

6. Sprout Nomad III Speaker

Nomad III Speaker, $239.99

The toughest speaker I’ve ever seen, this guy can be dropped, waterproof to 1 metre, and even has an inbuilt charger so you can re-charge your phone while you’re listening to tunes. A summer must-have, no?

7. Away Suitcase

The Medium, $375

It’s likely someone you know has been going on about these suitcases for a while – the rumours are true, they’re amazing. The Carry On has an ejectable battery so you can charge your phone while you wait to board, and the cases themselves are designed to make packing easy, and unpacking even easier – think little pockets, zippy bits and so on to squash everything in without destroying it all.

8. Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones 700

Noise Cancelling Headphones 700, $599.95

Who wants to spend $600 on headphones? Well, THIS GUY, if she had it. But I would much rather my rich Aunt Sue buy them for me instead after maximum heavy hinting.

9. Amazon Echo Studio

Amazon Echo Studio, $329

Wanted an Echo? Why not also get a speaker as well! The Studio is far more expensive than the super affordable Dot, but also features state of the art sound, using Dolby Atmos to deliver crisp highs, dynamic midrange and powerful bass sounds.

10. Swarovski Outstanding Earrings

Outstanding Earrings, $149

Other things I like to receive yet rarely buy – statement earrings that are made of nice stuff, not chipped gold paint.

11. Huffer Superdown Jacket

Huffer @ Culture Kings Superdown Jacket, $519.90

I know it’s summer, but just consider how expensive winter jackets are, yeah? Because these are primo things to ask for so in 4 months, you aren’t cursing your bank account.

Image: Bose