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As someone who lives in a sharehouse and has a squeaky bed, I can safely say that these two things combined have a big impact on your fucc-life. Now, because mattresses on the floor are for early-20s heathens who can’t locate pallets to create their edgy-yet-overdone bed out of, it’s about time you just invested in a squeak-free bed frame, like this Eva one instead.

Not only will you get more roots, but they’ll actually be worth your time and pins and needles. So if you’ve been putting it off, let me introduce you to Eva’s squeak-free bed frame, which is a nice $100 off right now.

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pictured: adult living

Made from ethically sourced timber, the Eva bed frame has won multiple awards for its A+ design. You don’t even need tools to put this bad boi together, which is a dream for anyone who can’t put furniture together to save their life. Me. Seriously. I would have been in the ground getting eaten by maggots years ago if this were the case.

The five-minute assembly (watch the video here) is also just what you need to avoid a full-blown meltdown or argument with your partner, roommate or friend, who has kindly offered to help. We all know how south that can go, and quickly.

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this Tetris alone would get me randy

Designed in Melbourne’s Brunswick, you can also get a 120-night free trial of the Eva bed frame. That’s four whole months, people, which is absolutely ample time to know if upping your sleep and coitus ante is worth the while. It’s also basically confirmation that you’ll be stoked with it. Brands don’t do this if they think there’s any chance you won’t be happy as Larry.

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pictured: not me living the life I should be living

To cop $100 off right now, use the code PEDESTRIAN100 at checkout. Prices range from $900 to $1,350 depending on what size you need, and weekly ZipPay transactions are also an option if that’s a bit much in one hit.

Hell, while you’re there, check out their mattresses, hemp-linen sheets, couches and more – if you’re in the adult spirit, may as well do it all in one fell swoop, should you have the $$$ to drop. It’s an investment in much more than your house, too.

Oh, and just a heads up, you can also score $150 off Eva’s Everday Sofa right now.

Image: Eva