Just A Bunch Of Snob-Level Kettles For All You Extreme Tea Nerds

People who really, really enjoy a cuppa are a breed of their own. Seriously, ask anyone you know who drinks more than one cup of tea a day and then sit back, let your eyes glaze over and allow the will to live to dissipate as they wax lyrical about how long they steep their teabag, the exact amount of milk they plop in and the ratio of tea leaf to mug.

They’re monsters, but they exist – so if you’re one of these NEEEEERDS…

Come right this way, bc I’ve found a whole stash of kettles that’ll really do it for you on the tea-brewing front.

Some just look pretty – a must since you stand around that damn thing for probably an hour a day. Some are techy marvels. All are worthy. Let’s begin.

BREVILLE AUTOMATIC TEA MAKER

Pop your tea in the automatic basket, and this baby’ll boil your water to peak temp – then automatically dunk your tea leaves into it and brew for the optimal time. Peak nerd achieved.

DELONGHI ICONA ELEMENTS DIGITAL KETTLE

Click whatever button you like to change up the boiling temp of your water (uhh, anyone who knows ANYTHING about tea knows that different types need different boiling temps, der) and then hit ‘warming’ to keep your temp steady – perfect if you’ll be coming back for round two.

SMEG 50’S STYLE KETTLE

Let’s be honest, you’re buying this for the look – and damn, it looks great.

SIMPLEX NO.1 GAS/ELECTRIC SOLID COPPER KETTLE

This too. But also this kettle was designed in 1903. That was when tea drinkers ruled. You must own it as a tea lover.

SUNBEAM LONDON COLLECTION POT KETTLE

If $300 kettles aren’t your vibe, this Sunbeam one is pretty (yay rose copper colour!) and not too pricey. It’s 2400 watt power means it heats up quick-smart, too.

MORPHY RICHARDS SCANDI ASPECTS WOOD KETTLE

A kettle with wooden trims? This is peak designer kettle we’ve reached, mates. If you’re always wanting to wave around your kitchen objects when guests come over to show you have taste, this is the one for you.

KITCHENAID GLASS TEA KETTLE

Another fancy optimum-temp kettle designed specifically for tea (nerds) aficionados, the infuser basket is stainless steel to prevent over-extraction (whatever that means).

SUNBEAM CAFE SERIES QUIET BOIL KETTLE

If you get up at ungodly hours and absolutely must brew tea, this is a god-send. It features all your temp-adjusting tech, but is whisper quiet – meaning you can flick it on at any hour and not piss off your housemate who’s door opens to the kitchen.

RUSSELL HOBBS 8.8L DOMESTIC URN

You know what? Sometimes you have to say screw being normal, and buy the insane thing. Like this giant domestic urn, so you can just smash out teas all day long. Do it, you know you want to.

Image: Hot Rod