Waste Time At Work With This List Of Bizarre Ways That People Procrastinate

I used to be the all time queen of procrastinating. I’m well aware that’s not necessarily something to be proud of, but it’s true. How, you might ask? It’s simple: I found every distraction under the sun to keep me busy, and then used the stress-induced adrenaline to race through everything at the last minute.

My favourite thing to do when procrastinating was sit upside down on my bed, legs in the air against my wall, browsing through real estate websites on my phone until I found a good one. Then when I did (and it was always wildly expensive even for Sydney), I’d pop on over to Gumtree and find a whole bunch of furniture and decor.

AND THEN I would somehow wind up on a deep dive of how to take care of indoor plants, realise that I was not at all capable of keeping those plants alive, and then spiral into a haze of existential drama over whether I’m simply not a good human because I can kill a cactus.

i’m not panicking, you’re panicking.

It totally worked — I’d be so caught up in my spiralling plant mum anxieties that I’d be distracted for hours at a time. So, in an effort to see if I’m alone in my pursuit for weird procrastination activities, I thought I’d ask around to see what kind of weird stuff people get up to.

I was ABSOLUTELY bracing myself to hear ‘procrastibating’ a million times (procrastinating by masturbating — yep it’s so widespread that there’s a term for it already) but it turns out, there’s somewhat of a mixed bag. First I asked around the office, and amid the usual responses of ‘cleaning’ and ‘cooking’, I found some gems.

Analiza, from Sales, told me she liked to do a spot of wedding planning. “I haven’t even found a man yet,” she said. I don’t know about you, but that’s close enough to my dream home researching that I feel just a smidge of validation that I’m not alone.

perfectly normal areas.

Then Jess, videographer extraordinaire, let me in on a secret activity that I will absolutely start taking on. She said, “I take pre-sleep naps because I hate getting ready for bed (washing face/brushing teeth/putting on jammies).” GENIUS, I TELL YOU.

Coupled with a few more folks who tend to opt for cleaning, I figured I’d be best off taking my research to the birthplace of oversharing weirdness: Facebook. There, I stumbled upon a veritable trove.

First we had Georgia, who took it upon herself to learn everything there is to know about birth/natal astrology charts (she’s probably a Taurus). Then came Jayden with the deeply relatable ploy to avoid hanging up his washing by simply putting it on for another wash. Delaying the inevitable!

My favourite though was from David, who apparently binge-watches chiropractic readjustment videos and OH MAN my back is needing a good crack just thinking about it right now. Give me that good crackly feel, immediately.

back crack*.

Every single person I spoke to had a specific thing they did to procrastinate. My impromptu survey returned a 100% procrastination rate and honestly, I can’t tell if I’m impressed or horrified. And I don’t judge you. But as someone who’s made it through to the other side, allow me to offer you some friendly advice: sort yourself out.

Get back to work, you! Your team needs you, and probably needs a bit of a shake-up in terms of organisation if you’re finding it so easy to get distracted. Scope out a site like monday.com to get your team back on track. This is a way for everyone to be on the same page, and organise tasks fairly, simply and intuitively.

It’s colourful enough that you and your team probably won’t even feel like you’re working — plus it’ll help minimise the distractions all round because if one person is off daydreaming, chances are others are too. And I dunno about you, but I always find it easier to get stuff done when I know how it’ll impact on other people in my team.

Team work makes the dream work, and all that jazz. And look, as much as I enjoy dreaming about owning a fancy house filled with (very much alive) plants, it ain’t gonna happen if I don’t get work done.

If the idea of getting your team on track sounds like a good way to cure procrastination blues, you can start a free trial with monday.com and get everyone on the same page. 

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