I like to think of Valentine’s Day as the prime opportunity to buy presents for yourself without feeling guilty for spending the money.
Not that it’s anyone else’s business what you do with your own cash, but if someone questions your motives, just pull the old, ‘Poor little me is just feeling sorry for my poor little single self and I needed a treat’, and that usually shuts them up.
In reality, I just want to buy things. Valentine’s Day is not the time to feel sad that you don’t have to worry about waking someone else up when you want to watch movies in bed until 3am. It truly is bliss.
Here are a few little presents you can buy yourself with the money you’re not spending on date nights.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who dreads receiving gifts from other people. If I played professional poker, I’d lose before they even dealt the hand.
It’s also incredibly hard to find a piece of jewellery for someone without them approving it first, which tends to lose the magic a tad.
Now’s your chance to buy yourself something you’ll actually wear — hit up Pandora’s website, add some bracelets, rings, earrings and necklaces from their new Valentine’s Day range in your shopping bag, and instead of hesitating and eventually removing it all, buy the whole lot.
It’s Valentine’s Day, the day of giving…to yourself.
Fun fact: if it helps convince you to splurge on yourself, Pandora make their jewellery with 71% recycled material, so you’re treating yourself and the Earth. Such a good citizen.
Alright, I’ve done the math, and from what you’d spend in a relationship, you would only have to be single for 2.5 weeks to save enough for a skydiving session.
I know, I know, couples be crazy.
I’d assume skydiving facilities would be rather empty on V-Day, so I say you book in advance and spend February 14th flinging yourself out of a plane.
Shoes might seem like an expensive purchase but really, if you think about how often you wear them, they’re approximate five cents per occasion.
If we stick to that very loose maths I did above, I’d say it’d be rude not to treat your feet.
Ask around, see if they’ve made those Back To The Future sneakers yet.
4. Fancy dinner
If you head over to websites like Red Balloon or Groupon, you’ll spot countless of deals for fancypants restaurants which, usually, would still cost a fair bit if it’s a dinner for two.
Swallow that self-conscious feeling of dining by yourself and head to the fanciest place you can find. Personally, I prefer to eat by myself anyway as other people just seem to get in the way, so this is high on my list of Gifts To Me.
Roses tend to die after what, five days? What sorta message is that sending to your partner? That love dies? That this token of appreciation is short-lived? That your relationship has an expiry date?
I plan to be stuck with myself for a long time, so I believe a cactus is far more symbolic than a flower that can barely get through a work-week without carking it.
The best part of a cactus is that they usually tend to be prickly and unpleasant to touch, which is in fact my ideal soulmate.
6. Bunnings voucher
This one’s a bit sneaky, as technically you can buy a cactus, shoes, a fancy dinner and jewellery all in one.
Use a Bunnings voucher to buy a sausage in bread (fancy dinner), Blundstone work boots (shoes) and 30cms of that chain you have to ask someone to cut for you (jewellery).
I don’t like to throw the word ‘genius’ around, especially if it’s about myself, but if the Blundstone fits…Image: Sex And The City