5 Makeshift Christmas Trees You Can Assemble With The Crap In Your House

One thing that people often forget about Christmas trees (real ones that is), is that although the smell of pine is bloody amazing, the needles going everywhere is definitively not. Unless you like to sweep everyday, these bristly babies are high maintenance. And chopping down a tree? Hassle.

If you’re looking for something a little more low-key for your pad this festive season, we’ve got a bunch of ideas that will have your mates clapping you on the back and calling you a champion. And really, that’s the spirit of Christmas right there.

Seriously though they won’t break the bank and they look far more tricky than they are to make, so you’ll be impressing folk left, right and centre. You’re welcome.

1. Ladder

This is probably the easiest tree-like object on this whole list. Grab a tall step ladder, open it on up and chuck a festive amount of tinsel or fairy lights around it. Done. Best part? The steps are ideal to pop ornaments on, or hang them from.

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2. Camera tripod

Another super easy option, a tripod is already vaguely tree-shaped so you’re sweet. Again, all you gotta do is deck it out with the same ol’ tinsel (weaving in and out of the tripod legs for maximum Christmassy flavour).

If you keep the camera on top of the tripod too you’ll have a perfect home video station for vloggers at heart. You can even heighten or lower the tree at will – wanna chuck a star on? Pop the legs down a touch, settle the star atop and then off ya go back up.

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3. Whiskey barrel

If you really wanna go low effort but still manage to look classy AF, a whiskey barrel is a solid investment (whether you’ve drunk all the whiskey or otherwise). All you gotta do is either deck one single barrel up in tinsel, or grab three and have them arranged in a triangle formation.

Really the more the merrier, so if you’ve got enough to make a beautiful Christmas beast like the one below then frankly I declare that you must. It’s magnificent.

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4. Tinsel and hooks

Maybe you’ve got a teeny tiny place, or you just can’t be bothered until the very last minute and all you’ve got is some strands of tinsel from eight years ago. That’s still fine, we can still (in the immortal words of Tim Gunn) make it work.

All you gotta do is grab a bunch of command hooks and apply them to the wall in the shape of a Christmas tree. String up your tinsel on each and pull it taut to make the shape clear, then you’re free to pop your pressies under without taking up any space. You’ll be praised for your artistic talent and genius by all who see it, guaranteed.

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5. A pallet

Been renovating? Maybe you know (or are) a tradie with some spare pallets out the back. Well, mates. You might have to do a little bit of woodworking to get this one in order but it’s definitely worth some casual choppin’.

All you’ve gotta do is chop the sides off diagonally to make the triangular tree shape, sand it down so you don’t cop splinters, and decorate to your heart’s content. You can even fashion a lil’ base if you’re so inclined – it’s a rustic addition to any room.

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For the decorating? You can have your typical baubles and Santa figurines, or you can go bold and chuck up a road safety sign or some mini Jack Daniel’s bottles to lean into the aesthetics. I even went to the liberty of decorating my boss’ palm-tree-Christmas-tree thingy to demonstrate:

Regardless of the method, these options are definitely not gonna leave those pine needles ANYWHERE. They are banished, gone forever.

The best part of all this is that you won’t have to drive out to a Christmas tree farm along with all the other folk who left it to the last minute – you’ll have a tree up your sleeve already.