Check Out This Goddamn House

Got 1.8 million pounds lying around? Well, you’re probably reading an old-timey stock ticker instead of PEDESTRIAN.TV, but indulge me a moment. I’d invite you to look at this frankly insane home in London and maybe buy it.

The former residence of photographer and designer Henry Wilson, the home in Chelsea is ostensibly inspired by his travels in India but in practice actually looks like the set for a Doctor Strange sequel. I have no idea how you could actually live and sleep in a home with this level of constant visual stimulation.

I mean…

Come now. Let’s not be silly about this.

It would be cool to sleep in this room and constantly be seized by intense and vivid dreams which you cannot distinguish from reality.

Imagine just having a regular old bath in here, and slowly losing your mind. That experience could be yours, for a lowly one point eight million pounds.

Kitchen? Or some kind of portal to a world full of colours heretofore unknown to human perception? I’ll let the real estate agent be the judge of that.

Okay, this is possibly the only chill part of the house. When people ask you what you use your rooftop for, you can say, “Oh, just escaping the sensory overload of the world and the rest of my insane house.”

Well, if you have 1.8 million pounds burning a hole in your pocket, this could be a fun investment. If it sweetens the deal for you, the real estate listing claims it is close to “excellent bus routes” which sounds great.