Dyson’s New Vacuum Is So Smart It’s Probably Going To Become A Sentient Being

Okay bear with me here but how good – how GOOD – is vacuuming. When your place needs it, I mean. Not like, recreational vacuuming. That would be weird but also no judgement, my friend Jenna gets a lot of recreational pleasure out of steam-mopping so I clearly hang out with people who love to clean. But a good vacuum job after a house party or of a Sunday? Damn, that gives me chills.

I went to Dyson’s V11 vacuum launch yesterday, which basically involved some people hoovering stuff up and me shedding a single tear of satisfaction while they did so. I also was genuinely, actually impressed with the new Dyson model.

See, one thing that shits me when I vacuum is how dust and so on will get sucked up from my floorboards, but rugs and carpet in my house is a chore and a half. I have to press down so hard, slash change settings… ANNOYING. I’m sure you’d agree with me on this, especially if you don’t even experience the thrill of vacuuming like I do. If it’s altogether a chore for you, rugs must be like heading to hell for a weekend.

So something that impressed me with the Dyson V11 was the tech that means it senses when you change surfaces. Microprocessors in the cleaner head as well as in the motor and battery let the machine know it needs to work harder when it hits carpet, while going more chill on hard surfaces. This both extends the battery life on your vacuum, because obviously rather than being on an always-high suction, it’s alternating depending on need – but it also means you don’t have to fiddle around with settings for carpets and so on. Settings that, on many vacuums, are on the damn brush head so you also have to crouch down to switch over.

Some other cool features – the V11 will tell you if there’s a blockage, and also show you where to look on this cute little digital screen at the top:

That screen also lets you know how many minutes/hours you can keep the machine running before recharging it – phenomenal for absent-minded folks like myself who NEVER remember to plug the thing into the charger.

It’s also got 20% more suction power than the V10, which like – obviously because those Dyson people are MASSIVE LOVEABLE NERDS who can’t help but upgrade their shit constantly.

Anyway, the price range for these newbies is from $1,099 to $1,249 depending on if you want all the little tools to clip onto it. The three V11 vacuums are available as of today.

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