PEDESTRIAN.TV has teamed up with Australia Post to sort you out ahead of Christmas.

I clearly don’t spend enough time in Australia Post sending letters to overseas lovers because simply put, I have no overseas lovers.

If I did, though, I’d probably be more aware of what our friendly neighbourhood Post Office actually sells (other than stamps). A quick peruse of the catalogue opened my eyes wider than Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise in that movie about eyes being open.

Wait, scratch that and reverse it, the movie’s actually called Eyes Wide Shut. My apologies.

Back to it though. I love everything about Christmas except one annoying factor – the crowds. Hate ’em. I don’t want to get punched in the throat by an overeager Christmas shopper because we’re both reaching for the same set of hankies, thank you very much. Plus, if there’s ever a year for personal space, it’s 2020.

So, this year I’ve decided to limit my Christmas shopping to one store: Australia Post. Who woulda thunk you could buy an air fryer from a Post Office? I’m equally amazed and utterly confused by how much there was on offer.

So, come with me as I plan out my entire family’s gifts, from the parentals right down to the wee children (not mine, my nephew, I’m too young and cute and fun to have kids just yet).

Brother & Sister-In-Law

There isn’t a piece of cooking equipment my brother and my sister-in-law don’t own, they’re absolute fiends.

Except, that is, for an air fryer. For whatever reason, they haven’t clued into the convenience of an air fryer, so I’m making it my duty to get them up to speed.

They have two kids so I wholeheartedly believe that anything that cooks food faster than an oven would be a gift from God (aka moi).

Mum

Mum’s the easiest to buy for because at 28, I could still give her a macaroni picture frame and she’d spend the next five hours calling everyone to gush about my glue job. It’s cute.

But, this year I’m forgoing the dry pasta and stepping it up a notch. For some of you, the idea of getting a puzzle for Christmas might sound like a letdown, but my Mum absolutely loves a good puzzle. She’ll do them by herself if she has to.

This also works to my advantage because I personally love a good brainteaser, so the Hard Quiz (here) is kind of a gift to myself, too. Christmas is the season to be selfish, after all.

Dad

“Wait, so your Mum gets a puzzle while your Dad gets a TV?” I hear you all thinking. Not so fast. As with a lot of parents, they share the same bed, and my parents have been watching crappy shows on a teeny, tiny TV for far too long.

This 32-inch Soniq Smart TV is a huge upgrade, trust me.

Sister & Brother-In-Law

My sister and brother-in-law are currently holed up in their apartment, and I just so happened to notice a big blank wall behind them during our last zoom call.

Seeing as they’re not allowed to leave, what better way to ease their boredom with a full-blown projector? It’s like going to the cinemas but without the anxiety of being close to other people.

Heaven.

Niece

My niece is going through a real bubbles phase at the mo’, and although she has her bodyweight in bubbles merch, can you ever have too much joy in your life?

I’ve also been warned not to get anything that’s too large, given half their house is covered in toys, so this is the perfect compromise. 

Nephew

My nephew is still a young’un, so you could feasibly get him a box and he’d entertain himself for hours upon hours.

But, buying your nephew a cardboard box is frowned upon among most families (or so I’m told), so a remote control car is the next best thing.

Watch me end up playing with this while my nephew sits in his box fort.

If you need even further Christmas shopping inspo, hit up the Australia Post website right here.

Image: iStock / cmannphoto