How To Channel Your Inner Bobby Berk So Your Rental Doesn’t End Up Looking Basic As Hell

rental makeover

After recently going through the whole ordeal of having to decorate my place, I realised that a) I am in no means an interior designer and probably never will be, and b) it’s almost impossible to buy things for your house that someone you know doesn’t already have.

So, if you really want your place to look unique, you have to get creative. Every person with disposable income is storming IKEA and Kmart to get the latest Scandi lamp, so you need a different game plan.

No shade to either of those places though, I’d live in them both if I had my way.

Yeet your current mass-produced purchases

If you’ve already fallen down the IKEA rabbit hole, you have three options:

  1. Make do with your brand-spankin’ new purchases and bond with your mates over owning the same couch.
  2. Cover your items with a fresh pair of sheets for a ‘constantly painting the walls’ aesthetic.
  3. Sell them on Gumtree to punters who appreciate a pre-built flat pack.

Honestly, any of the above options are easy-as so it just depends on how self-conscious you are about your own living situation.

Raid your parents’ house for fancy heirlooms

There’s nothing better than going home to your parents’ place for a good ol’ catch-up – but mainly to swipe things you couldn’t otherwise afford.

And while you’re doing your routine rummage through the pantry, stuffing fancy packets of mixed nuts in your jocks, take a look around and scope out any unique pieces of furniture or any other decorations your parents don’t have space for.

Because they’re just happy you’re home, you can probably ask them nicely for that pristine side table that’s just been sitting there since they bought it two whole days ago.

Go all DIY even if you have the skills of a penguin

That was uncalled for, I’ve personally never seen a penguin varnish a table but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not good at it. I’m better than that, I apologise.

But you don’t have to be a qualified carpenter to spice up your existing ornaments/furniture. Just whack on a Youtube vid that maps it all out for you and get to work.

If you do it on a Saturday then you’ll feel like you’ve actually accomplished something for the day, and there’ll be much less guilt involved when you go out that night and get absolutely written off.

It’s all about balance.

Avoid social media like the plague

In the days, weeks or even months leading up to your interior decorating, avoid social media (especially Pinterest, you know what you’ve done) like the plague.

The reason is that there’s a chance you’ll get brainwashed into thinking that your house must look like a display home for people to respect you.

Wrong. People should feel comfortable enough to walk around your living room without being scared of knocking over that useless hanging birdcage that doesn’t even have a real bird in it.

Be practical, you guys.

Buy unusual second-hand items

Second-hand items are a surefire way to give your place that extra splash of character.

Get on Gumtree and type in anything – quite literally anything – and you’re bound to find something up your alley. Perhaps a custom fabric couch? A cheeky side table? A dresser to hold all of those weird spoons you buy when you travel for absolutely no reason whatsoever? The world is your oyster.

If it’s slightly different to what you envisioned, whip out those Youtube tutorials again and go to town on it. That way, you’ll be 100% sure that no one will own what you do because you’ve mutilated it with your poor craftsman skills.

Bob’s your uncle.