You’d be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t lived with some devil incarnate of a person they hated with the fire of a thousand suns. We’ve (almost) all had the experience to some degree. But there’s the person who refuses to clean the dishes ever, ever, ever – or never takes out the trash – and then there’s actually mind-boggling horror.
Go get some popcorn mates because these are true tales from the crypt. These are the worst of the worst. Feel free to sound off in our FB comments though with your own horror stories – we cannot get enough of ’em.
“I used to live with a guy who was quite highly-strung. One time when I was drunk and fumbling with my keys to get into the house late at night after many beers, I opened the door to find him standing in the hallway with a katana – AN ACTUAL SWORD – because he thought I was someone breaking into the house.” – Courtney
“So my friends used to live in this really dank sharehouse, real dirty and big and gross. They had sick parties but it meant that the house just got worse and worse over time. The front door was always unlocked and so one day I went to go visit, no one answered and I just walked right in. So I walk all the way through to the kitchen to grab myself a drink, and right in the centre of the room is this bucket. At first I think the room might’ve just been mopped or something, but on closer inspection I find something way more horrifying. The bucket has a little wooden board propped up on the side, acting as a ramp to the rim. There’s a coat-hanger suspended over the top, spearing a can of Coke which is smeared in peanut butter. I realise quickly that this is a rat trap – they had a bit of a rat problem and I’d heard of people doing similar things with buckets full of water. Only thing was that this bucket wasn’t full of water, it was full of broken glass. Dude had put so much broken glass in this bucket and just thought a rat would completely fuck itself on all of it and bleed to death.” – Jack
“A few years back I had a housemate who, a few days after I got dumped, said I needed to buy more toilet paper because I was single now (all the other girls living in the house had boyfriends) and would be home all the time.” – Jayne
“I once went on exchange to Belgium and got matched with a 80 year old lady who couldn’t speak much English. I was 15. She made me live in her roof. Like legit, inside her roof. Not a loft. Then one day i had to drive with her to help her 25 year old son move out of his dorm, and I spent 8 hours carrying everything down stairs by myself and then when it was time to go apparently there was no room in the car besides her and her son (because of all the sons stuff) so I had to catch the 2 hour train back to her roof by myself.” – Annie
“I lived with a girl once who used to cook with her hands. Like… she would constantly be dipping her finger into communal dishes to taste them, season them etc. Basically she didn’t believe in cutlery, she was a total grot. I was constantly on edge, one of my roomies just stopped coming home if she announced she was cooking for the house. He would go to him parents for the night. One time she was heating up taco mince and legit stirred it with her index finger right in front of me, then OFFERED ME SOME. No ma’am. No.” – Chloe
“I once had a housemate who I butted heads with a lot. He would boil chicken all the time – at all hours of the day and night (it stank) – he’d leave me pass-agg notes everywhere, and once when I made comment about how untidy he was, he went into my room when I was not home, took photos of my room, and sent them to another housemate, saying that I ‘lived in filth’, trying to get me kicked out.” – Hannah
“A few years ago when I was living in a share house, and I was woken up at like 4am on a Thursday morning to some weird sounds coming from outside my bedroom door. When I got up to see what was going on, I opened the door and saw one of my housemates pressing himself against the hallway wall. When I asked what the hell he was doing, he sniggered and said he was being a lizard.” – Matt
“My ex-boyfriend’s housemate lived in the ‘extra’ room, which was a spare living room they’d converted into a bedroom. Technically she wasn’t supposed to be there, so when they had an inspection, they’d revert the room back to a living room. Anyway, she got this derro boyfriend and started becoming super grot, the usual plates / glasses left in there for ages. She went to stay with him in another town for a couple weeks, and there was an inspection, so her housemates had to clean her room…. and found all these used condoms and tampons, just thrown behind the door.” – Alex
“A friend of mine told me a story about a girl she lived with once. She kept to himself, the kind that just comes out to make food and hangs in their room all the time, you know? She had an ensuite so they literally never saw him. Anyway eventually she decided to move out, and my friend was going to take over his room once he left. The day after she vacated, my friend went in and realised she had never, ever, EVER cleaned anything the entire 2 years she had lived there. An actual square of clean carpet where her bed had been, the rest complete filth – and the worst bit was, when my friend looked at the ensuite, there was all this vomit and poo on the WALLS NEAR THE TOILET. Like not only had this girl never cleaned the toilet or it’s surroundings, she had also just projectiled from time to time and left it there.” – Mel
“When I lived in England I had a horrific housemate. She went to the south of France for two weeks and took the tv cords so I couldn’t watch TV, and every morning she turned the hot water off after she had a shower so I couldn’t have one.” – Bree
“I used to live with a guy who would leave his washing in the machine for like an entire, hot day, then remove it and let it sit in a washing basket until it dried, stinking up the entire kitchen. Then, because obviously it was rank by the time he went to wear something from there, he would wash it AGAIN and rack up our water bill. This happened too many times to count.” – Fiona
“My old housemate in NYC would frequently “sleep eat” and eat all of my Tim Tams. one night I heard an alarm going off in the kitchen around 2am. The woman had been sleep cooking and nearly burned down the house! Apparently she would never remember eating / cooking and would deny touching anything, but we were the only two people in the house – then she said something about how she was on some kind of messed up sleep medication.” – Natalie
“I used to live with a two housemates that just refused to ever buy toilet paper. Ever. Eventually I just bought my own, personal stash of secret toilet paper. You know what they did? Just started using my MAKEUP WIPES.” – Rachel
“I had a housemate move out unexpectedly, so I quickly got a new one. I waived the bond and he didn’t sign anything because frankly, I was desperate for someone to move in. He just became the most annoying person ever, demanded we put a lock on his door, just super intense and it wasn’t working. So we politely explained the situation wasn’t right and asked him to move out. He absolutely refused. He basically said because he hadn’t signed anything he just would never budge. I had to get the real estate agent involved with threatening letters to eventually get him to leave.” – Joe
“I lived with a girl once who decided heaps of cat-themed things, like a cross-stitching of a cat in a frame etc, would be cute in the bathroom. It sat on top of the toilet and my ex boyfriend used to aim at it.” – Paul
