ASOS Is Nosing Into The Homewares Game & Pls, Just Empty Our Bank Accounts

If there’s anything that the last few years have taught us it’s that nothing matters and you can just fill your house with pretty things. Nothing matters! We’re all going to hell anyway so we may as well be comfortable and enjoy our little pocket of existence!

I kid, but for a long time, the most affordable options for Scandi-inspired, luxe-on-a-budget style has been dominated by Kmart and IKEA, and maybe Urban Outfitters if you can find enough people to go in on shipping with you.

But now, in this the year 2019, a challenger approaches in the form of ASOS.

[jwplayer rttNtXI2]

Hell yes mates, ASOS have already dominated the online clothing game are now releasing a living range and you better believe it’s going to make your home look chic as shit without costing you an arm and a leg.

Split into three collections for the first venture into homewares and other house-related accoutrements, ASOS is exploring three distinct ~vibes~ and trends; Eclectic Luxe, Cool Minimal, and Global Traveller. With the prices for your precious new trinkets and statement cushions starting at a (very manageable) $20.

Ok, let’s have a peep at what we’ve got across the collections, hey?

It’s truly got the whole spectrum, ranging from loud pops of colour with big bold prints, 70s woven rattan, fun prints that remind me of abstract painting, and conversation starter-pieces to really stand out in a sharehouse space that will probably detract from the weird water stain on the ceiling for once.

Enter: this print.

Firstly, I’m all about this. I wish to be watched by my sheet set while I’m sleeping, eating in bed, guiltily listening to ASMR videos on YouTube. Give this whole set to me, it is incredible.

It’s only recently that I’ve begun to appreciate a good vase, instead of shoving flowers and plant cutting into rinsed out bottles of booze. This one? 100% says you’ve got your shit sorted.

Look at this rug, it’s cute and has just enough of a pop of colour that you could put it down anywhere and it’d make a room about 80% more chill.

What would I even put in this? A plant that will probably die because I’m a terrible plant mum? Sure!

Look at this! Adorable heart basket! I don’t even know what I’d put in there but I want it. Sorry Marie Kondo, this 100% sparks joy in my little heart-shaped basket.

Ok let me be serious for one moment. I genuinely love this jug and cup set. Thick glass is absolutely coming back in as a homewares trend – and you better believe that this would pair EXCELLENTLY with the four peak-90s-wine-mom wine glasses I got recently. You know the ones, thick-stemmed with blue glass blown into the stem and rim of the glass. You know what I’m on about.

This rug is definitely a bit more in-your-face than the last one – I mean it reminds me of a pair of togs that a friend of mine wore constantly in the mid-00s. Am I impressed that ASOS have somehow made baby pink and fluoro yellow work well together? You have no idea.

Another plant pot for another of my neglected plant babies! This one leans in on the whole 80s macrame vibe that I hope never ever leaves us again. Yes, you can quote me on that.

I don’t know if it’s the smoky-coloured glass or what but these remind me of my dad’s best mate’s house which was a full-blown 70s-style bachelor pad and I LOVE them. I think he used to have a block-mounted poster of a very nude 70s adult actress in the toilet, now that I think about it.

A tiny little mirror! Is it just for teeth-brushing, and other vanity-adjacent things? Yes. Will I buy this just so I can look at myself routinely? Also, yes.

Full disclosure, my desk with never EVER be this organised, but maybe if I get these it will help me be less messy? Maybe? Or I can just fill them with my MANY TRINKETS.

Another thing that’s absolutely not organised and neat: my bedside table. What will I fill this little tray with? More trinkets.

Ok now I’m just kidding myself, I will not be arranging my four (4) paper clips, two (2) bulldog clips and one (1) watch like this. I don’t wear a watch.

This throw blanket just makes me feel really chilled out and that’s reason enough to drape myself in it like Lisa Simpson when she’s kooked out on that weird water from Duff Gardens and declares herself the Lizard Queen.

This woven basket is so! Damn! Cute!! I know it’ll just get filled with more junk/bathroom-specific trinkets but I want it regardless.

The best part is that you can mash together all of the ranges, and they STILL manage to look decent enough to show your parents as proof that you’re a functioning adult.

The whole range will be up on ASOS from February 4, so hit up your housemates, cos it’s time to redecorate.