Did you know that Australian homes are the biggest in the world? It kind of makes sense, I mean, we have so much room for such a small population. So what do we do with all that room? Well, we build pools, nice patios, set up a sick backyard cricket area — you know, the standard Aussie stuff.
But those are obvious, and honestly not terribly unique to Australia. So we’ve compiled a list of the more obscure, and in some cases downright weird, yet essential elements of Aussie homes that just make sense for some reason. Enjoy.
1. A strange novelty lighter with unknown origins
You know the one. It seems to have been there since before you moved in, and it will probably be there long after you leave. No one knows who brought it over, but it’s part of the house now, and honestly, things would feel really off without it.
It’s the perfect lighter. Big enough to last forever, but too big to chuck in your bag. So it remains — in your garage, or on the fridge, or the backyard table — in perpetuity.
2. A Bintang singlet hanging in the wardrobe
Walk into any home, and I mean any home, and you’ll find a Bintang singlet. Seriously, jump on Google Maps and pick a random house, now go knock on that door, ask them to let you examine their wardrobe (it’s fine, I do this all the time) and I guarantee, you’ll find one of these pieces of high fashion in there. Guarantee it mate.
3. Hills Hoist
Nothing screams Aussie backyard like a Hills Hoist. It truly brings a tear to the eye. Legitimately, I’ve lived overseas in cities where backyards just aren’t a thing, and during this time I would think back to my days as a kid swinging around on one of these bad boys.
The Hills Hoist is such a flex. I love it. It proudly states to all who bear it witness: look at how big this backyard is; look how much room I have to swing around. A true blue Aussie staple.
Fun fact — and chances are you already know this but it’s fun to point out regardless — the Hills Hoist is an Aussie invention, created in Adelaide in 1945 by a chap named Lance Hill. Onya Hillsy.
4. Tomato sauce with that crusty lil bit at the top because your younger siblings still can’t get it through their heads to wipe the bloody thing before putting it away
This shouldn’t even be an issue. Like, there is no reason there should be any sauce residue if you’re squeezing from an appropriate distance, and with appropriate technique. I’ve seen people straight up make contact with their meat pie when squeezing the sauce on. Absolutely pathetic form. Grow up.
5. This exact table
Do I really need to say more?
6. A blue and white esky
No Aussie home is complete without one (or eight) of these absolute dream machines lying about. Real Aussies know you can’t have too many eskies about the place, and the more variety in sizes the better. Keep in mind they must be blue and white. If you walk into an ‘Aussie’ home that has a red esky, or god forbid, a green esky? You pack your things right up and get the hell out of there. That’s not an Aussie home, what you’ve walked into is a lie.
7. Half an avocado in the fridge, wrapped in Glad Wrap
Every time you remember it’s actually in there and go to take it out, you find out it’s brown. Bloody hell, you think. This is the last time, you assure yourself. But it won’t be. If you’re an Aussie, you’ll always have half an avocado in your fridge that would’ve been perfect to eat two days ago. It is our cross to bear.
8. A barbecue
Mate, if you don’t find a proper barbie in the backyard then you took a wrong turn at Cape York. Every Aussie home is naked without a barbie.
9. A good old fashioned fly swatter
If you’ve spent more than 12 seconds in Australia during summer, you’ll be well aware of just how unreasonable flies here are. Whilst we’re on the topic — mozzies, perhaps even more annoying than flies. I swear they have a sixth sense that tells them exactly when you’re about to fall asleep, which then propels them to fly straight into your ear canal. Extremely rude.
10. A beer fridge
Ahhh, the humble beer fridge. No self-respecting Aussie household would be complete without one.
11. Wheelie bins that have seen too much
Much like the aforementioned novelty lighter, these wheelie bins have been here since before you moved in. And as such, they have seen many things. Unspeakable things. But you’re not worried, the wheelie bins have your back — you share a special bond, you and the bins. Garbage respects garbage.
There’s just one problem, which bloody bin night is it again? Far out, you’ve been living here for two years, and yet you still have zero clue whether to take out the big yellow or not. It’s okay, stay calm, and do what you always do — follow the crowd. That’s right, if your neighbour puts out a yellow, then you put out a yellow. If they jump off a bridge, well, you know what to do.
Speaking of bins, if you’re sick of throwing money into the bin every month (which, let’s face it, is basically what paying rent is), then check out Aussie Living Homes for a ‘yuge variety of house and land packages to suit any budget and lifestyle.
Go on then, get yourself a house, live the Aussie dream. It’s called self-care, sweetie.