An Aussie pelvic floor physio has taken to TikTok to answer the age old question: how many times should you wipe after a dump? This has genuinely plagued me for my entire life, so I was thrilled to learn more.

TikToker Georgie (@bien.aus) made a video targeted at people who wipe more than three times — and it certainly explains a lot of, well, shit.

She said she was going to explain how to reduce the number of times you wipe after a number two. Frankly I could’ve used this during the great toilet paper shortage of 2020.

That being said, my Mum still loves to tell me I use way too much loo roll so hey, these are handy tips.

“When you’re wiping more than two or three times, that is called faecal smearing,” Georgia said.

“It’s essentially when too much faecal matter stays at the entrance of the anus.”

@bien.aus Are you wiping 101 times to get clean after a poo? #pelvicfloor #pelvicfloorphysio #pelvicfloorpt ♬ original sound – BIEN Australia

She suggested trying to squeeze your pelvic floor in a “waterfall formation”. A lovely name to be sure.

“Start by squeezing the anus 20 per cent, then 50 per cent, 80 per cent and 100 per cent.

“So you’ve squeezed it four times at the end of your poo.”

According to Georgia, this helps close off the anal sphincter after you’ve ~ passed your stool ~. Woohoo!

However, she did point out that the waterfall method won’t necessarily work if you have any anal scarring or haemorrhoids.

Tragically Georgia didn’t weigh in on the ye olde scrunch vs fold toilet paper debate.

Since it was posted, the TikTok vid has racked up more than 84,000 likes and 10,000 shares — though people in the comments were divided about the advice.

“Ma’am we have IBS lol,” one person said.

Others were very big on the idea of a bidet, which I personally believe should be a staple of all households. Call me French, I don’t care.

And some people were simply grateful for the poo-pportunity to learn.

“Anybody else flexing their sphincter while watching this?” wrote another user.

Tragically though, one TikTok commenter said they’d been eating chocolate digestives when this popped up on their for you page. A sorry state of affairs indeed.

The ‘ol wiping two to three times advice is corroborated by a number of sources, with Healthline recommending using a wet wipe or bidet as well.

The bidet agenda continues to grow and personally, I am absolutely here for it.

Image: TikTok / @bien.aus / The Emoji Movie