Remember the glory days of early 2000‘s Australia? They were the days when John Howard power-walked his way ’round Kirribilli in the AM, but they were also the days when waking up a smidgen too early for Cheez TV meant you’d be fucking shattered to find Aerobics OZ Style.
Sadly, those days died a long time ago, along with our youthful enthusiasm and affinity for waking up before 6:30am.
Fret not, fitness fiends: we’ve smanged together a list our fave YouTube fitness tutorials for you to werk it to, free of charge, in the comfort of your humble abode.
1. YOGA FOR DUMMIES
Our instructor here, Sarah, reassures us at the beginning of the video that she knows we aren’t actually dummies, which is a huge relief. This one’s great for anyone who knows naught about yoga, and wants a lil’ info/intro before going to their first class. Helpful 90’s style icons like ‘JARGON ALERT’ flash up on the screen to flag yoga slang you mightn’t have heard of.
2. PILATES INTENSE INTERVAL TRAINING
Blogilates is something of a fitness institution on YouTube, with almost three million subscribers. We would recommend watching this only if you are in a mood that can handle saccharine pop music and a peppy instructor without wanting to punch yourself in the head. If you’re in the right mood, instructor Cassie does know her stuff.
Johanna Rohrback wants to teach you the merits of Prancercising, to the
entirely irritating soothing sounds of middle-America soft rock. It’s not to the faint of heart and/or mind, as the “springy, rhythmic way of moving forward” a real bum toner.
4. BASIC KUNG FU MOVES
This one starts off looking like a real shit meme, with some appalling zoom-in graphic work. Two millions views don’t lie though, and instructor Monk Deyang from Shaolin Temple is real deal. If you can pay attention for 47 minutes straight and are patient with subtitles, you’ll be well on your way to learning the Horse Stance.
5. LESLIE FIGHTMASTER’S 30, 60 & 90 DAY YOGA CHALLENGES
Leslie believes “yoga should be available to everyone, for free” and that’s why she started Fightmaster Yoga, where she ~generously~ releases new vids every Monday. How do we describe Leslie? She’s kinda reminds us of Trish from 40-Year-Old Virgin; she’s laid-back, friendly and just seems like an IRL angel. Her tutes are easy to follow and she is one of the few YouTubers ever to ask you to subscribe in a polite way. Blessed.
6. HOW TO DANCE LIKE USHER
Common sense tells us that any white guy claiming he’ll teach you how to dance like Usher is probably a fedora. Put that aside, and popping slash locking is a good way to sweat. Bonus, he also wants to teach you how to dance to Dubstep. Ten points for consistent backwards/sidewards cap.
7. BIPASHA BASU’S AEROBIC DANCE ROUTINE
Base wants you to express yourself through the sheer beauty and power of dance. If you can get past the atrocious outfits, you’re onto a good thing. There’s pre-emptive warnings of the next move coming up so you don’t lag, too. It might sound trivial, but Basu has a smooth as Lindt voice which makes listening to her for half an hour easy. We would recommend doing this one when you’re home alone.
8. CARDIO KICKBOXING
If you’re sick of the shithouse backing music you find in most work out tutorials, this one’ll be a welcome change.
In the words of Rohrback: “Let’s stop talking and do some walking”.