I’m such a sucker for anything with a good Instagram feed. I know that’s fucking ridiculous but if you’re going to tell me you’ve never been intrigued about a brand based on some targeted Insta ads that looked schmick, you’re lying. One brand I’ve been fascinated by for years is Moon Juice. Specifically, their product ‘Sex Dust‘.

Moon Juice is this hippie-weird supplement/holistic health brand from LA. Of course it’s from LA – the owner, Amanda Chantal Bacon, is the epitome of the LA wellness culture. You might have read her now infamous Food Diary on Elle.com (if you haven’t, do it).

Basically, she’s made an entire business out of weird supplements like Ashwagandha and Schisandra – most of the products are rooted in adaptogens, which the site calls “Superherbs and Supermushrooms that help expand your body’s capacity to handle mental, physical, and emotional stress.”

I’ve done a very top line level of research into adaptogens, and from what I can deduce they’re not complete fake news but they’re also not really accepted by professionals in the general healthcare space. They rose to prominence in the 40s, and there were a lot of mentions of the Soviet Union in there around the research development. Now, they’re a health trend.

Moon Juice’s Sex Dust supplement is easily their most famous, predominantly, I assume, because of the spicy name. It promises to “target stress to support healthy hormonal balance for creative energy, in & out of the bedroom”. So it’s not just a sex potion – it’s also a creativity one!

I start taking Sex Dust (I bought the 12 sachet box, but you can get individual sachets in their LA store, or the jar version) on a Tuesday. Seems like a pretty borza day to start a sex powder intake, but here we are.

Tuesday

The recommendation on the side of Sex Dust says to mix with coffee, chocolate, tea or milk as it has a “smoky cacao flavour”. I decide to mix my first sachet into some black coffee – I figure the flavour of the coff will mask the powder if it’s rank.

I cannot believe how disgusting this powder tastes.

It is the rankest thing I’ve ever consumed in my life, and I’ve had one of those wellbeing green powders in WATER before.

It doesn’t taste like smoky cacao, it tastes like burning dirt and death. It tastes like dirt someone threw in a fireplace and then collected the powder, and mixed it with coffee.

I chug it down and try not to gag, but clearly I’m going to have to hold my nose in future. The aftertaste lingers, too – it takes my entire (normal, not Sex Dust-spiked) coffee to wash it away.

About 30 minutes after I drink the concoction I swear I’ve got a surge of energy. It’s kind of like a caffeine rush, but less jittery. It might be a placebo effect, we’ll see.

Tuesday Afternoon

I have a brilliant creative idea that I may have had without the influence of Sex Dust, but given it’s supposed to boost your creativity I have to give it some credit (maybe). At the very least, I’ve been hyper-focused. It feels a LITTLE manic if I’m honest – that unrelenting kind of focus where you’re skittish.

But the focus has helped me do work – I’ve been burning through articles and haven’t been as distracted as I usually am.

On the sex side of things I have ZERO horniness, which is a plus really since I’m in an office. I don’t feel like having any sex, not solo sex and not with a person. But! It’s been a day. Maybe it builds up over time?

Wednesday

I didn’t take the Sex Dust today because I was home sick. Basically I got home on Tuesday arvo and started feeling a bit shivery, like you do before you get a cold or flu. I’d had the flu the week before so I assumed it was a resurgence of evil flu-thingies in my body, but then I started feeling really panicky like a panic attack was coming on???

Anyway stayed home, it passed, weird.

Thursday

OH MY GOD, THIS STUFF IS POISON. It literally, I shit you not, tastes like if you dug up some manure in the yard, boiled it in a pot, air-dried it then put it in a drink. It poisons everything it comes in contact with – the fact I can’t mask the taste with my black coffee proves this.

Also today I drank it in the kitchen and not one, but THREE guys I work with moseyed on in and asked what I was drinking that was causing such a resting bitch-face. I am terrible at fibbing so I just told them and it’s quite the awkward convo to be all “yes it’s Sex Dust, it makes you horny”.

Another thing I did today was google whether adaptogens can be taken with Zoloft. I’ve been on Zoloft for anxiety for years, and because I don’t take any stress/anxiety supplements I forgot to check – fucking idiot. ALWAYS CHECK – some supplements interact with the Zoloft and can give you serotonin syndrome, which is fatal if you’re not careful.

I was like, maybe my weird shivery panic yesterday was serotonin syndrome, which would have been fucking terrifying. But as far as I can tell, the ingredients don’t interact (don’t take my word on this because I’m not a doctor, I just did a quick google).

Thursday Afternoon

I’m done. I’m done with the Sex Dust because now, I have the full-blown jittery anxiety you get when you take diet pills (IT WAS ONE TIME AND IT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA) or when you have 5 strong lattes in a day.

I can’t calm my nerves which are so high, I feel like my internal bodily structure is trying to leap out of it’s skin casing and run 10km.

It’s like I’ve gone to strong focus level but then tipped far over the edge, so I have so much mental energy I simply can’t focus on one task. It’s taken all my self-control to just do work and not crumple into a panicked heap.

I still don’t feel like sex by the way. If anything the jittery anxiety is making me want to fuck less?

The Verdict

Look. Clearly the stuff works to some degree because if it didn’t, I wouldn’t be here wanting to bust out of my body into another alternate dimension. But I think something that’s worth noting is whatever these adaptogens are in the Sex Dust, they WILL give you energy – and if you struggle with anxiety and can have one single coffee a day for fear of tipping into overdrive, you might want to do more research than I did about how they will affect your nervous system.

Another thing I wish I’d done prior to drinking the stuff is check if the adaptogens interacted with my medication. It’s something I fail to think about a lot of the time because – controversial – I always think supplements will do jack shit. But some really can interact with your meds and cause problems, so it’s always worth asking your GP before starting anything in conjunction with meds, especially antidepressants.

Finally – my god, the taste. If you were going to be on this shit regularly, you’d need a strong gag reflex. Wait, a weak one? IDK, whatever the one is that doesn’t make you want to dry retch. It is VERY VERY disgusting stuff. I personally can’t handle supplement powders that have strong earthy tastes to them (like green superfood vibes) so I would never be able to continue with Sex Dust even if it didn’t give me the energy of Captain Marvel 24/7.

Also, I never once felt horny. But! I did have a few brilliant creative ideas? So that was a win.