Sometimes my job is extremely weird. This is one of those times. See, everything is a story when you work across lifestyle content. And most of the time, you end up trying things for the sake of “the story”.

This is exactly what happened last month, when I decided to find – and try – every period product I knew to exist to determine which one is the LORD OF ALL PERIOD PRODUCTS.

Lol jk. Everyone is different so this is clearly just my take on what works for me. To give you a background – I have the unicorn of periods. I take the pill, so it usually comes a couple of days after I start the sugar pill bit. It’s pretty light-on. And it lasts for around 4 days. I’M SORRY. I know how awfully offensive that sounds to those out there with heavy periods.

Anyway, without further ado – here’s my review of each product I trialled.

PADS

Pads are the worst, the end. I will say that I can handle the Stayfree Ultra Thin Allnights when I’ve had to (I’ve had two cervix surgeries where you have to wear pads after, not a good time) but generally, they suck.

TAMPONS

I’m just knocking the usual suspects out of the way here. I am fine with tampons? I guess? I only started using them after I started having sex (props to anyone who used them before some dude blows open your vagina bc they’re hard enough to stick up there on a GOOD day). Anyway, at the beginning and end of my period – HELL. It’s like not a fun time getting one up there. But in terms of forgetting about your period, they still come up tops. I generally go for the silky-cover type these days, like these Carefree ProComfort ones.

DIVA CUP

I was T E R R I F I E D of trying the Diva Cup, even though I’d heard amazing reviews about it. I liked the idea of it being more environmentally friendly (it makes me blanch a bit thinking about how many period things we chuck in the bin) but the concept of wrangling a cup up my hoo-ha was enough to make me pass out. It’s pretty flexible – but you’re still manoeuvring something pretty wide in there. Once you wedge it in place all folded-up, you let go and it springs out to form a seal.

I did forget it was up there in terms of physically, but mentally? EXTREMELY AWARE. So much so that I convinced myself it wasn’t in place correctly, went to the toilet to try and re-adjust it, ended up taking it out and then realised I now had a small cup full of blood in the work loo, and no way to clean it.

I legit had to wrap it in 400 bits of toilet paper, shove it in my pocket, exit the stall, wait for everyone to clear the fuck out and then rinse it in the sink (don’t worry, I cleaned that sink REAL good). Nightmare. Anyway, turns out you’re not meant to remove it for a full day.

In short, I get the vibe of it but it’s not for me. I got mine from the Period Shop, by the way.

REUSABLE PADS

These were comfier than normal pads but I’ve also realised aside from the plastic nappy feel, in general I don’t like sitting in my own blood. That being said if you’re someone who can’t use tampons? These could be cool for you, because they’re washable and that’s bueno for the environment. The HannahPad is the one I tried.

PERIOD UNDIES

Okay I am SO sold on period undies for a specific purpose, which I’m going to jump into here. Basically, I am now a convert for the first day of my period with these babies. You know how your body starts being like “ALERT, ALERT, YOUR CERVIX IS CONTRACTING, MAKE WAY FOR BLOOD” but you have no idea exactly WHEN that blood is going to start flowing out? Yeah, I hate that. I’ve wasted many a tampon in prep for my period, so I loved period undies simply because they felt like relatively normal pants (albeit a little thicker) but I knew I was protected from period leakage.

They’d also really work for someone who can’t use tampons – in fact I wish these babies were around in my teen years. I gave ModiBodi a whirl.

SEA SPONGE

YES I TRIED A SEA SPONGE. I SHOVED A WHOLE SEA SPONGE UP MY VAGINA, YOU GUYS. For you. For the people. I fucking hated it. They’re dry and kind of hard, so it’s like wrangling a really large tampon up there. I will say it softened up and was easy to remove, bc it had soaked in blood by then. But man, not a good time. Will not repeat.

I don’t want to put you off though – it *is* a great environmentally friendly alternative, if you can find a way to get it up there better than I did. I got mine via the Period Shop.

So there you go. My pick? Tampons are still the go for me, but I’m sold on period undies for the beginning of my period.

Image: New Girl