PEDESTRIAN.TV has teamed up with Suntory BOSS Coffee, the Japanese brew you can buy right here in Oz.

One thing they don’t teach you in school is how to work five days a week without wanting to crawl into a hole and die after any given day.

Granted, some people don’t seem to have as much of a problem with a normal workweek as others, but for a vast majority of us, we’re completely wiped by the end of the day.

So, I asked the masses aka the group chat how they get through the day and still have energy come clock-off, and here are the results. I’ve also taken the liberty to go through and review each response because who doesn’t love a bit of critique?

“Getting out of the office and walking around – or in the bathroom on my phone.” – Nic

Inspired.

Nothing feels as good as perusing your socials while you hide from your coworkers in the bathroom. Plus, it can be hard to get some R&R at work, and the toilet is one of the few places where people can’t barge in and demand you urgently do something for them while spitting ever so slightly on your clothes.

“Coffee in the morning, heaps of water, light lunch and no overtime” – Jenna

This is probably the route I tend to go down most days, however, I add in about three more coffees (four on a stressful day) and frankly, if I left the office to get that many coffees someone would start to notice. Maybe. I might be overestimating how much people care.

Regardless, I find that keeping a coupla coffees stashed in my draw can be the difference between a productive day and a day where I stare out the window and think about that time an exchange student told me his friends thought I was ugly.

Now, hiding a cup of coffee in your drawer can be rather impractical, so I suggest you go down the canned option. Suntory BOSS coffees are compact (read: discreet), flash-brewed so they taste better than that instant piss your office provides, and you can switch between flavours so you don’t get over it.

I’ve thought of everything.

“Yesterday I left at midday because I was tired.” – Brent

It’s harder to be exhausted by your job if you don’t do your job, Brent you absolute genius what a loophole.

If you’re just not feeling it for the day, stroll right out that door and tell your employers that you might see them tomorrow. What’re they gonna do, fire you? Probably, yes.

“I go for a walk on my break, listen to hype tunes and make sure I either have exercise, something social or a ‘me’ night in the books for the evening.” – Jen

Hype tunes lads, have you heard of ’em? Nothing gets me through the day more effectively than listening to the following on repeat:

  • Kelis – Millionaire feat. Andre 3000

That one song has helped me through more days than any licensed therapist ever will.

“I fuck around with Michael for at least 50% of my day and then get yelled at for not being professional.” – Hana

I’m a firm believer in workplace banter and if you get yelled at every now and then for being a distraction to others then so be it.

If you truly are in the doghouse with the Big Bosses™, perhaps minimise your banter to certain times during the day. Schedule a secret banter meeting in the dunnies for 2pm and people will be none the wiser.

I think having a healthy diet throughout the week combined with adequate exercise improves not only your energy levels but mood as well.” – Josh

I mean sure, a healthy diet is obviously ideal, but who has the time/self-control/love for their own body?

Healthy diets are great, but caffeine and dunny banter are far better options.

Now you have no excuse to go home and sit your ass on the couch for seven hours after work.

I mean, that’s what I’ll be doing tonight but you should do as I say, not as I do.

Image: Inside Llewyn Davis