There’s an ancient proverb, passed down for generations, that says, “when the red river flows, take the dirt track”. But you see, that ain’t it, chief. We’re here to tell you there’s absolutely no reason you can’t simply go for a cheeky dip in the river.
For real though, there’s a lot of discussion, myths and misconceptions around period sex. It’s seen as taboo or unclean. People turn up their noses at the thought of getting a lil’ blood on their peen. It makes folks cringe at the very thought.
But just because someone is menstruating, doesn’t mean they have to shut up shop. So we asked you to send in all the things you’ve wanted to know about the goopy, shloopy experience that is period sex.
Let’s slip and slide right in.
1. My girlfriend only gets off if I go down on her, but I feel gross doing it if she’s bleeding. What happens if you go down on someone when they have their period?
Good news, folks: period blood comes out of the vaginal opening, so it’s entirely possible for you to go down on your partner. Stick to the clitoris and be none the wiser that they’re even menstruating. It’s even less obvious if they’re wearing a tampon anyway!
Just be aware that some STIs are more easily transmitted by blood, so it’s important to discuss sexual health before you get down to business. If you’re concerned, dental dams are a good way to increase the safety, but as long as your menstruating partner is hygienic and free of infection, you shouldn’t get sick.
At the end of the day, it’s a personal choice. Remember: if you’re open to a spot of rimming but choose to steer clear of period sex, maybe there’s a mental aspect at play. And hey, if you get a lil’ blood on the tongue, just think of it as a metallic-tanged cherry lube. Ahem.
2. What happens if you have [penis-to-vagina] sex and forgot you had a tampon in? I’m paranoid that I’ll forget.
Look, it happens to the best of us. You know those teen movies where someone gets a tampon or a condom stuck way up in the vaginal canal? Well, that’s one of the potential problems that arise when you have sex with a tampon in, so if that’s you, prepare for a fishing expedition.
You’ll likely figure out very quickly if there’s a blood bullet way up in you because it’s not exactly the most comfortable thing in the world to have both a tampon AND a penis up there. There’s only so much space, and having a tampon in may lead to it bruising or lacerating your cervix (especially if it’s a fresh tampon) from the friction.
Beyond that though, having tampons in for too long can lead to bacterial infections, a strong stank and in rare cases, toxic shock syndrome. So yes, sometimes you’ll forget and it won’t be the end of the world, but it probably won’t be the most enjoyable sex either. Your best bet? Pop some digits up for a quick string search before you opt to insert a toy or have peen-in-vagine sex.
3. Can boys get periods? If so, and I have sex, can I get pregnant?
At first glance, you might think that this question is straightforward, but there’s actually a lot of nuance to it. Periods aren’t just experienced by cisgender women — so yes, some boys can.
Transgender men, intersex people, non-binary people and gender-nonconforming people can experience menstruation if they have the normal release of female reproductive hormones responsible for periods. Additionally they can also get pregnant if they have these hormones as well as ovaries, a uterus and the rest of the normal female anatomy down there to support a baby.
It’s a contentious issue because there’s still a lot of taboo surrounding the subject — sometimes even more so than the idea of period sex itself. Even nowadays, most male-designated bathrooms don’t actually have sanitary disposal bins for menstruating people to use, which can lead to a lot of embarrassment.
The conversation around periods has definitely changed a lot over the past few years, but there’s still stacks more that can change for the better. Inclusivity is important and there’s a lot of space to grow. The bottom line? Periods aren’t exclusive to women, period.
4. How long after your period stops dripping can you have sex without the penis or toy getting blood on it?
I’m gonna be blunt here: anything you insert into a menstruating vagina will probably get a bit of blood on it. If you’re having sex while at the peak of the cycle, there’s every chance that you might even get a bit of gloopy uterine lining on your wiener (or sex toy of choice) too. Lovely!
The serious answer is that it totally varies from person-to-person and the type of cycle they tend to have. If you’re the type to have only a couple of days light bleeding (blessed beings who can get away with just a liner, the rest of us revere and loathe you), then you can get away with it sooner than someone who gushes for five days straight.
But if you’re using a condom (which is absolutely always advised), then technically the penis/toy won’t get any blood on it directly. If you’re particularly… energetic… you might get a little splash back. But it’s all natural baby, no need to stress!
5. I was told that if I have sex on my period, I won’t get pregnant. Is that actually true?
It’s very unlikely to cook up a bebe if you’re on your period. Why? The egg is being expulsed by the body, and as the lining of your uterus is shedding, there would be no place for an egg to implant itself and grow into a baby – even if there was a random egg floating around. Additionally, the hormones needed for this wouldn’t be present either.
But, as we all know, nothing’s impossible. Frangers are important for keeping your dick clean (from STIs and, well, anything else) anyway, so you may as well whack one on if you’re not looking to procreate.
The reason you’re unlikely to fall pregnant when you’re having your period is due to ovulation. Essentially, most period-having peeps have an ovulation cycle of around 28 days, of which ovulation is typically around day 14, so you’re most fertile from days 11-16. Given your period is day 1-5 (ish), it typically doesn’t align with ovulation. Comprendé?
Remember that some people have shorter ovulation cycles, and even then, lil’ spermies can survive for up to 72 hours. So they might still be doing a spot of butterfly swimming around your insides by the time you start ovulating again.
Did we answer your question? Got something else boggling your mind? Well, next week’s topic is now live, so you can (completely anonymously) ask all about that gloopy little occurrence known as discharge.
Yep, in all its knicker-staining glory, we want to answer everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the goop.
Just whack your question in below, and tune in next time for DM Doctor.
Disclaimer: the questions will not be answered by a physician, but one has been consulted for accuracy. If your period questions were not answered in our first few rounds with the DM Doctor, head over to Ask Gemmah.Image: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend