If you’re not across Marie Kondo and her intense KonMari method of basically ransacking your personal belongings and then binning like, 3,000 things until you have a single pair of jeans and some very nice, plain dinner plates or whatever – you’re living under a rock.
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With the arrival of her TV series on Netflix, the Japanese tidying-up Lord has gone global, with everyone chucking all their shit out in favour of her method of minimalism.
But what if we didn’t stop there? Our lives are full of shit constantly, outside of just what we physically own! Can you KonMari some other stuff?
Like, maybe not LITERALLY, but sure! Kind of! The principle of binning stuff that doesn’t bring you joy is universal. Here’s some other areas you should assess, imagining Marie sitting on your shoulder screeching “NO JOY IS HERE! NO JOY AT ALL!”
RANDOMS YOU DATED ONCE
Fucken hell, how many old dates/semi-exes have we got littering our phones, Instagram follows, and Facebook accounts. A LOT. All those guys and girls you went on 3 dates with who never called you back in the end? UNFOLLOW, DELETE, GOODBYE. You don’t need that neg shit in your life – it’s sub-zero levels of joy, my friend.
ASSHOLE FRIENDS
I’m not even talking about those toxic mates who ditch you in your hour of need and constantly put you down in conversation because they’re insecure psychopaths. There’s other friends that, while you may not need to put them into the Op Shop Of Life, should definitely get less air time. The friend who always says “let’s hang out!” and then cancels plans. The friend who only messages you to download their life problems onto you, but doesn’t reciprocate. The friend who is judgy as fuck. Fill your life with good people who make you happy, not ones who make you feel like dog excrement.
ALL THOSE ANNOYINGLY HOT PEOPLE ON INSTAGRAM
YEUGH! How bad is your Instagram feed? Mine’s a pile of flaming trash right now, guys. I follow so many hot women who make me feel sad and bloated, and like – why? Sure, if it ACTUALLY motivates you to see abs 24/7 on your feed, go forth and continue. But hot people in swimwear just makes me feel like shit. Go through that list for 30 minutes and unfollow any account that makes you feel less than amazing.
YOUR PHONE
Two things: apps and contacts. Delete all those weird apps you don’t use. Trivia HQ, anyone? They’re taking up vital phone space and cluttering up your screen. Secondly, go into your contacts and wipe all those people you literally can’t place. You know, like “Greg H Water Guy” and “Jack The Brooooo!”
YOUR MAN
….or your woman or whoever you are dating – noooo I’m not saying you can change people, but I AM saying you can assess the behaviour you’re putting up with in a relationship and bring it up in an effort to change the overall vibe. Things like… are you constantly just pretending to be fine with how your partner NEVER washes the dishes, or acting like seeing them once a week is totally OK by you when secretly you feel like they don’t give a shit. This is the time to bin your own silence on relationship stuff you wish would change, and bring it to the table instead.
THE SHIT YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT
It’s 2019 – start the year off by setting fire to all your insecurities and worries! Okay, easier said than done. But at least start checking yourself when you think about the following and get sad: your ex from two years ago, the fact that fuckhead got promoted and you didn’t at work, and that friend who just completely ghosted you for no reason. Who cares! Let that shit go, or at least start telling yourself to so you make a head-start on getting past it all.
