JUST IN: Your Beard Is A Medical Marvel, Breeds Army Of Good Bacteria

E-fucking-nough with the beard stories, we hear you say.

We’ll admit, we’ve truly reached saturation point… But (sorry), new research has uncovered a prickly new revelation to fuel the beard v no beard debate. For a bit of a refresh:
The history books will show that the more refined gentlemen of the early 00’s pioneered the soul patch, while the beard was reserved for Santa and your creepy uncle Phillip. Then, this picture did the rounds on Pinterest:
And hipsters, straight women and men of a certain persuasion across ‘Straya lost their collective shit over the beard.
It feels like just yesterday that a study claiming beards contain more fecal matter than toilets was shat out by scientists, but a ~new~ study by the BBC has emerged to violently refute these claims.
Apparently, beards contain a shit-ton of good bacteria.

The team from the UK series Trust Me I’m A Doctor conducted an experiment in which they collected samples from 20 London-based bloke’s beards, sending the swabs to be examined by microbiologist Adam Roberts.
In his rounds of testing, Roberts found over 100 species of bacteria. NBD, right?
But, turns out, when the bacteria is in a beard, as opposed to on bare skin, they have big fuck-off fights with each other.

“When you’ve got a competitive environment, like a beard, where there are many different bacteria, they fight for food, resources, and space,” Roberts says. “So, they produce things like antibiotics.”

So, for those of you out there with a beard, stop wasting your money on Inner Health Plus. The blue guys are already doing a good enough job in your chin-fro.
Source: BBC.