There are many things in this world that will bug you. It’s a simple fact of life – things can be annoying. They make you stressed, they make you want to throw everything within arm’s reach and, above all else, they make you SALTY AF.
It could be as simple as being left on read by the girl you’re seeing, or as inconvenient as a slow walker who somehow decided that the top of an escalator is the perfect place for them to stop and chill for a bit (here’s a hint: it is not).
And while a little saltiness is good (gimme some chocolate-covered salty pretzels any day), you don’t always want to awaken the goblin that lives inside each and every one of us (yes, even you m8).
Here’s a few ways to keep them under control.
It is super satisfying to let loose a little sass and tell whatever is bugging you that you’re not gonna deal with it (clicking in a Z formation is totally optional). It’s the best kind of saltiness, the kind where you know that all you have to do is deliver that one-liner and sashay away.
But if the one-liner doesn’t work and you’re still a little crunchy, try circular breathing. Breathe in for four counts, hold the breath for seven counts, then exhale for eight counts. You’d be surprised how effective it’ll actually be in calming you down – and the sass satisfaction is still ever-present.
Take a self care break
Self care is so damn important, we cannot stress this enough. If you’re feeling super salty about things that are happening in your life (especially if they’re things you can’t control), taking some time for yourself is absolutely imperative.
It can be as minor as a quick walk around the block, as satisfying as a cheeky Flipz snack break or as extensive as an hour-long luxurious bath with fancy bubbles, wine and a good book (gimme).
Embrace the sass
Look, I won’t pretend that sometimes it’s satisfying as heck to let the saltiness wash over you and revel in it for a while. Be the sass queen you were born to be – just remember to let it go afterwards, yeah?
There’s a fine line between embracing your saltiness and letting it have control over you entirely – you can definitely be plenty annoyed about something, just do it without letting it become a part of your being.
The best thing to do is to give yourself an allotted period of time. Whether it’s ten minutes, an hour or even a day (only for really big sass-fests), allow yourself that time to feel salty and as soon as that time is up, let it go.
Ultimately though, just remember that these things are fleeting. Sure today you’re peeved that someone forgot to call you back for an important meeting, but tomorrow you could win a million bucks (a girl can dream, okay).
You can be super salty on the inside still, don’t get me wrong, but you can’t let it drive you crazy externally. Think of yourself as that chocolate-covered pretzel – there’s enough sweetness outside to keep the balance. You just gotta shove a handful of McVitie’s Flipz in your gob and try to reflect that chocolatey sweetness in your attitude. Get ’em at Woolies in the choccie aisle next time your salt levels get outta whack.
Trust us. Take a hot second, breathe a little and move TF on.Image: Instagram / @ladygaga