Think back to last Sunday. How did you feel? Did you wake up feeling refreshed, ready to take on the day and eat well?
GUESS WHAT. You are a wholesome, productive, contributing member of society. Or did you wake up only to be instantly assailed by your own stench: durries, tequila, regrets; and by a headache that felt like it could crack your skull in two?
We’ve all been there. We’ve all had to order Deliveroo at 3pm on Sunday, only to spit out a mouthful of half-chewed burger because no, actually, you weren’t ready to eat yet, you disgusting waste of space.
Here’s a few examples of absolutely horrid Sundays – which we hope will motivate us to set out on a new path (maybe next Sunday).
Oh god, who (and what) did I text?
The situation: You’ve had a few bevvies and one of your mates brings up that time y’all went to Bali in that uni break of ’09. You, 20 of your closest mates and – oh that’s right – your ex was there too. You suddenly begin to feel a wave of nostalgia for a relationship that, if you were sober and in your right mind, you’d remember was totally toxic and destructive.
The shitty decision you make: Because you haven’t spoken to him in almost a decade, you feel like a “u up?” text will act as the perfect icebreaker. When he doesn’t reply in under five minutes, you reckon a follow-up question mark should do the trick. Then you get real riled up. Who does he think he is not writing back? You’re like, so much better than him. Better let him know that. Wouldn’t want him to think you miss him or anything. Absolutely not. While you’re there tell him his new squeeze has lopsided boobs. Because that’s real mature.
The next morning: You’re havin’ brekky with your mum (a booking you totally forgot about, mind you) and she asks you if you’re seeing anyone at the moment. You roll your eyes while thinking to yourself that you haven’t dated anyone since… ah shit. It hits you. You’ve been triggered to remember the god-awful string of texts you sent him the night before. Don’t look at your phone, you’ll hate yourself.
What could’ve been: Instead of validating your ex’s assumption that you miss him, you could’ve gone on living your life which is a burn far greater than any type of contact with a past lover. Hindsight’s a beautiful thing. In future? Water between drinks, please.
I’ve woken up alone, what a surprise.
The situation: Oooft, a girl’s just walked in and is a total babe. Should you go say hello? Do people even meet IRL anymore? What do you say? Ask if she has a lighter? Surely it doesn’t matter that you don’t smoke, your mates sad it’s a good way to approach your potential spouse.
The shitty decision you make: Shots. It’s the only way to get that confidence up, right? Maybe not the fourth one, though, because while you’ve gone and said hello, you’ve also gone and told her your entire life story + tried to hook up with the poor woman before headbutting a wall as she dodged you for dear life. Oh honey no what is you doing???
The next morning: You wake up alone with a literal twig in your hair. Why are you not surprised? Whether you were looking for a one night stand or a fully functioning relationship, the stumbling, blubbering, oversharing human didn’t, and never will, appeal to either avenue.
What could’ve been: She could’ve been the love of your life. Guess you’ll never know. Was doing shots really worth it? No.
There’s a half-eaten kebab in my bed.
The situation: You skipped dinner to meet your mates out on time but like, now you’re hungry, ravenous even.
The shitty decision you make: “I’LL HAVE A CHICKEN KEBAB WITH THE LOT. YEP YEP I’VE ONLY GOT 7.80 DAT COOL?”
The next morning: The garlic sauce has kinda pooled on your sheets, dangerously close to your torso, because for ~reasons~ you lovingly placed your kebab next to you on the pillow. No one will love you as much as crunk-you loves kebabs. There’s also only half a block of cheese left in the fridge – when it was a full block before you went out (explains your weird dreams), and then a finished packet of Tim Tams and an empty bag of chips kicked under your coffee table.
What could’ve been: A full week of healthy eating and exercising that wasn’t shat on completely with one drink too many. If only you’d eaten before going out like a responsible human.
Did you too just waste your Sunday lying in bed cradling your stomach and sobbing hysterically? Have you vowed to never drink again? Drink wise instead.
Whether you use your hangover-free Sunday to go on a hot date, get life admin sorted, do the Bondi to Bronte, hang out with mates you haven’t seen in months or, you know, binge a Netflix show without falling asleep / into your kebab every five minutes, we all know they’re better spent when fresh as a daisy.
If you have a few waters between drinks the night before, you can enjoy a smug Sunday and take in the sights your city has to offer. Use this quiz to get some inspiration.
[ptv_quiz quiz_id=”658791″]
