Tough conversations are, well, tough. That’s usually the reason we run for the hills anytime someone tries to get serious with us. As great as it feels to avoid these conversations in the moment, they usually come back to bite us in the hiney later.
While we might not like to admit it, the hardest conversations to have are usually the most rewarding – and let’s be real, there’s a lot to be stressed about in 2020. Don’t believe us? Libra conducted national research that backs us hard. In fact, they found that with so much uncertainty in this wild world, 54% of women are feeling the pressure more than ever before – pretty scary stat, right? That’s why it’s never been more important to dive deep into the heavy stuff.
In the spirit of tackling awkward yarns head-on, we’ve listed five topics of convo that we need to start having more honestly. Sure it might be a little painful at times but it’ll stop us from placing wild expectations on ourselves and others. So the next time one of these topics comes up and you break into a sweat, ignore your instinct to make a break for it and strap in for the ride instead.
It’s 2020 and being vulnerable and honest is sexy. You heard it here first.
How You Doin’? (For Real)
Ooft, this is a biggie. If someone could make a time machine (and it’s 2020 why the heck does this not exist) then I’d ride it back to high school and have so many deep chats with all my friends. Looking back, there were so many instances where we were all clearly struggling and nothing was said.
Even now, my friends will sometimes avoid telling me how they feel for fear of burdening me or adding to my plate. In the past few years, I’ve made a conscious effort to check in with my friends at least once a week to see how they’re going and to let them know I’m thinking of them. More often than not, these casual chats will lead to a meaningful conversation about where we’re at mentally and we both leave the chat feeling supported and heard.
In today’s hustle culture there’s often a perception that we always need to have our lives together when in reality nobody does 100% of the time. It’s time to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves and the people around us to emulate the perfect life, and start focusing on things that are actually important like our mental wellbeing.
Your mates are one of your biggest support systems when the going gets tough so be sure to reach out to your friends and bask in the knowledge that they’ll do the same when you need them.
Makin’ Code Red A Code Green
People, people, people. We’re not in high school anymore and anyone who squirms at the thought of a menstrual cycle needs to go right back to Year 8 health class.
The idea that anyone is still grossed out by periods is archaic to say the least. In fact, I spent years thinking things that were so absurd they’re almost comical – the dumbest being that a cramp could be so powerful your vagina could fall out (that actually pained me to write). Who knows, maybe if I’d stopped being so awkward and actually spoken to my friends, I’d have saved myself the trauma of being plagued by such bizarre thoughts.
Whether it’s having sex on your period, using a menstrual cup or going for your first pap smear – anything along the lines of women’s health should be an open book among people of all genders. Yell about your menstrual cramps from the rooftops, ask a stranger for a tampon and live your life free from the burden of worrying about your period.
The Old Ball ‘N Chain
From period sex to cheating, we need to be more honest about what goes on behind the closed doors of our relationships. No human being is without flaws, which means no relationship is perfect either. Despite knowing this, we love to pretend that our significant other can do no wrong (even though they definitely forgot your birthday for the third year running).
It might be fun for us to pretend that our partner is holier than thou, but it can also make other people feel bad about their own relationships. I’m not saying you need to air all your dirty laundry, but sometimes we need to be more honest with our friends about the nature of our relationships. Especially when they come looking for advice on an issue you’ve dealt with before. When it comes to dating, we’re all basically just fumbling around in the dark without a clue so it’s nice to know we’re not alone.
What (And Who) Is Getting You Hot N’ Bothered
There’s likely been a point in everyone’s life when they’ve wondered whether or not they’re ‘normal’ for liking what they like. Maybe you’ve had a saucy dream about someone of the same sex and woke up in a sweat to find your boyfriend lying next to you. The dream might plague you for weeks, when I can almost guarantee that several of your mates have had the same thing happen.
Coming to terms with our sexuality is a weird and wonderful journey that probably never ends. It’s gonna be a pretty lonely ride if you can’t share it with your friends. Have a laugh, have a cry or have an epiphany that you’ve all shared an identical experience – there’s no telling what’ll come from an open conversation about our sexuality. Creating safe spaces within your friendship group is so bloody important for everyone’s well being and something that I can’t encourage enough.
After all, if you can’t be honest about your sexual desires with your closest mates, who the heck can you tell?
How Your Bank Account Is Lookin’
We all love to spend it but my god, we hate talking about it. Up until a year ago, I would’ve done anything in my power to avoid talking about my finances. It wasn’t until I started chatting with a girl from work last year that I realised how important it is to have honest chats about money. From those few conversations, I’ve changed super funds, moved bank accounts and looked into investing. It’s given me an entirely new perspective on my finances.
That being said, there’s a right and a wrong way to have this conversation. I’ve been out with someone who bragged about how much they earned before offering to buy the next round on their dad’s Amex. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no shame in living off the bank of mum and dad, but don’t be telling people you’re dropping your own hard-earned dosh when you’re punishing your parents plastic, y’know?
Being deceitful about our financial situation doesn’t just hurt us, but it can be detrimental to others, too. It can foster a deep sense of inadequacy when people are made to feel as though they can’t measure up or that they’re a thousand miles behind everyone else in the rat race. It’s probably not a convo you should be having at a party or a first date, but talking to your close friends about how you’re spending and saving is definitely a worthwhile thing to do.
When it comes to convos about what’s in the bank, it’s total transparency or nothing.
While they might seem scarier than the bogeyman at first, these five chats are actually nothing to be afraid of. Really, they’re just a reminder that we’re all human and we’re all going through some stuff. As my mum (in her infinite wisdom) loves to say ‘a problem shared is a problem halved.’ So whether you’re facing impending doom or just looking to up the ante at your next dinner party with a deep and meaningful yarn, it’s time to make these convos something we have on the reg. Go forth and get deep.Image: The Bold Type/ Stan