It’s scientifically proven that listening to certain music while you work out can boost performance.
It’s also scientifically proven that bangers released between the years 1999 – 2010 are the mother fucking greatest.
Not really that last one. But anyone who’s old enough to remember a time when Supre was at it’s sartorial peak, Myspace was our space and Ministry of Sound was #1 on Xmas lists across the country will agree – it was a magical time for dance music.
Jog on Molly, cause we at PEDESTRIAN.TV have compiled this countdown of our favourite straight howlers to give your cardio workout a good kick up the gluteus maximus.
10. Coma Cat – Tensnake (2010)
We launch right into it with a club hit that was particularly popular on Saturday nights at Melbourne‘s Prince Bandroom… It’s very difficult to listen to the opening “woooooaaaaaoaahhh” and not jizz your dacks.
9. I Love It – Sneaky Sound System (2006)
Picking which Sneaky Sound System song to include was tough. They’ve got three big hits – Pictures, UFO & I Love It – and they’re practically indistinguishable from one another. Solid trilogy of ‘Strayan bangers nonetheless.
8. Uniting Nations – Out Of Touch (2005)
It wouldn’t be a mid-2000s tune without a throng of women stripping down to their pannies while a putzo imbecilé watches on.
Charge and crank up that First Gen iPod Shuffle sitting in your bottom draw and you’ll probably come across this pearler.
7. 9PM (Till I Come) – ATB (1999)
The magic comes in at around 1:32, and the only was to describe it is:
6. Talk Like That – The Presets (2008)
You’re on a sweaty party bus on your way to the Year 11 school formal. Darren and his mates are up the back banging their hands on the roof to the beat/harassing people out the window while you swig a concoction of straight Midori and Johnny Walker you stole from your parents’ pantry. This song is doing nothing but accelerating the anxiety you’re feeling cause your Canon is full with pics from pres.
5. ABC Remix – Pendulum (2010)
If there’s one remix to send you right back to a glorious time in our nation’s history, a time when Ernie Dingo & Don Burke reigned supreme on the silver screen, it’s this one. Yep, this one got my bowels going. Exciting.
4. Tell Me Why – Supermode (2006)
Can’t lose with a Bronski Beat sample thrown in there.
3. Infinity 2008 – Guru Josh Project (2008)
This track was originally released in 1989, and the only lyrics featured were a very Mr. Mugatu-esque “1990’s, time for Guru, 1990’s, time for Guru.” The lyrics in the 2008 version are equally as mystifying, but the sax-heavy banger is optimal for a cardio session.
2. Midas Touch (Starskee remix) – Midnight Star (2006)
T t t t touch, t t t t touch.
1. Call On Me – Eric Prydz (2004)
An absolute belter full of absolute belters, this one. I just spent 10 minutes fiddling around on YouTube trying to confirm I was over 18, because this:
Every minute was worth it. 65 million views don’t lie.
And if you feel like making your workout completely fucking psychotic, turn the speed on YouTube up to 1.25.
Legal speed, people.
Photo: Call On Me / YouTube.
