When I was about 14, I remember going to a friend's house where she showed me this black pad thing you could strap to your stomach and it would give you a six pack. The idea was that it would send electronic pulses through your abs and work them out without you doing a single thing. I think her parents bought it off the telly.
Obviously, sitting down and sending electric currents through your flesh is hardly the way to a six pack, but the memory of giving it a go has never left me. So when the opportunity came up to trial something called Electronic Muscle Stimulation (EMS), that's immediately where my mind went.
What is electronic muscle stimulation?
Essentially, it's like strapping into a very thin wetsuit and flexing. You jump into the full body suit – naked as the day you came, btw – and get hooked up to a machine. The trainer sets each current to the strength of your choice (i.e. as high as you can take) and for 20 minutes, you get currents of eight seconds on, eight seconds off. And during the "on" part, you flex every muscle for your life while you squat, lunge, or otherwise use your muscles. If you don't flex completely – or forget to flex a muscle group – it can feel like your muscles are in spasm. And that's intensely painful.
The benefits of EMS is that it's supposed to to be highly effective for such a short amount of time. Ally, the trainer taking me for my class, says it's equivalent to doing a three-to-four hour weights session in the gym and/or 120 muscle contractions. I'm not about to do 120 squats for a Kim Kardashian booty, but I am willing to electrocute myself as it turns out.
EMS isn't new, but until the last few years has mostly been the domain of physical therapists and rehab specialists. Now it's become the new "thing", gaining popularity in London, New York and those efficiency nerds in Germany, with everyone from Alessandra Ambrossio and Ashley Graham to 2Chainz and Usain Bolt being devotees.
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Speedfit, the first company to bring EMS classes to Australia, launched in Perth in 2013, and now has seven centres across WA and two recently opened in NSW. It's easy to see the appeal: everything is provided for you (including a pre- and post-workout drink), you don't need to bring a gym bag, and at 20 minutes, you can fit it into whatever kind of short "lunch break" your corporate overlords are fine with you taking.
"SpeedFit is not just another fad, it was created by medical and sports professionals and its results have been proven in peer reviewed tests by scientists over many decades,” says SpeedFit founder Matej Varhalik. “Most people when they do a workout, they often do not activate the correct muscles when they are lifting weights. SpeedFit teaches them how to activate these muscle groups."
That's not to say it's some kind of magic cure-all. Israeli doctors published a letter in 2016 warning against using EMS, claiming it can cause muscle damage. (At the time, a SpeedFit gym owner told the SMH that in order to do this kind of damage, you'd need a person with a very high pain tolerance and an irresponsible trainer.) Studies have shown EMS can help people lose weight, improve strength and improve your posture, so like most new and intense fitness regimes, your best bet is to chat to a doctor first.
But if you're prepared to go ahead with EMS, prepare to sweat. We're talking puddles. I'm a sweaty exerciser but at times it was like there was a waterfall from my nose, so probably lucky they provide you with hydration before and after.
I was also warned that people often "forget" to flex muscles during their first session, which turned out to be insanely true. When your right arm is spasming because you were concentrating too much on your abs, you'll feel it. I spent quite a bit of time gritting my teeth and getting through the workout, because each time you change position (say, from a sumo squat to a lunge), the first eight second shock hurts. Maybe that was just me.
One day after my workout, I was a bit sore. Two days later, I was in agony. There were muscles deep up inside my glutes I didn't even know I had that were hurting.
So is it worth it? At $55 to $75 per session (depending on how many weeks you sign up for), it ain't cheap, but if your wallet can stretch it, it's not a bad way to tone up and slim down. Men's Health described EMS as a "tool" to figure out which muscles are being under-utilised, rather than a way to build muscle. But if you're looking to get fit and want something efficient, it's not a bad way to go. Just don't operate under any grand delusions that just because it's 20 minutes it's going to be "easy".
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