Blokes, have you ever asked yourself what life would be like if you did bigger cums? Have you ever yearned for an absolutely devastating load? Well apparently there’s some pills for that, but under no circumstances should you be taking them. I repeat, DO NOT TAKE THE CUM PILLS.

Aussie men are being warned of a dangerous illegal pill which online retailers say increases semen production, fertility and orgasm intensity. It’s called Semenax and drug regulators have said it contains an undeclared substance.

According to their website, the pills are meant to increase the volume of ejaculate during sex via the creation of more “seminal fluid”, not sperm. “This is attractive not only from a visual standpoint, it is subconsciously attractive on a biological level,” the website reads.

Don’t take their word for it, though, listen to some fella named Stephen, who’s testimonial says the volume of his semen tripled “in just five weeks”. What a mess.


After being tested, the drug was found to contain Yohimbine, which is occasionally used on dogs to reverse the effects of sedatives. It’s also been said to help with erectile dysfunction, but it’s not approved in Australia.


If you’re still fangin’ for massive cums, the Therapeutic Goods Administration reckons you should think otherwise, stating that the drug poses a serious health risk to those taking it. If found at the border, they’ll destroy that shit.

“The TGA is working with the Australian Border Force to help stop future shipments of Semenax capsules from entering Australia,” they said in a statement. “If these capsules are found at the border … they will be seized and destroyed.”

If you do happen to have the drug in your possession, you should take it to your nearest pharmacy to be disposed of and if you have any concerns after taking it, you should absolutely see your doctor.

One more time – please do not take the cum pills.

Source: SMH
Image: South Park