A Reddit user has left us absolutely baffled over the idea that some living, existing human beings on this floating moving rock in the planet we call Earth, apparently don’t check their poos before flushing. So, naturally, we investigated.
In a recent AskReddit thread about people’s favourite question to ask to get to know someone better, one user brought up a story about a friend who had to take a psychology test for a job application. Bizarrely, in said application, they were asked about the ethical practice of using the toilet—e.g. Do they take a sneaky look at their shit before a flush?
“Someone I know took a psych test for a work application and one of the questions was, ‘do you look at your poo before you flush?’ He asked us around the office and it was so funny how divided we were and how passionate we all were about our reasoning.”
Now, folks, I don’t mean to be biased here when I say this but what kind of person doesn’t look at their own shits? Scientifically, you *should* be doing it. Your poos can tell a lot about your diet, whether you’re not drinking enough water or fiber, etc. But also: when you’re turning around to flush the toilet anyway, how do you not take a cheeky look at your numero duo. What are you, an animal who shits in the bushes and leaves it to mother nature to break it down?
Well, like all good journalists, I decided to investigate this and did it the best way I knew how: by running an Instagram poll on my own damn Instagram. And, as it turns out, a majority of people do in fact check what comes out of their anoos before sending it off to Flushtown. Thank fuckity fuck for that.
In an Instagram poll on my own account, a huuuge majority of my followers (80%) said yes, they do, with a confusing minority (20%) of nos making me question their bathroom habits.
As one of the few people (and my actual best friend) who responded no to the poll told me anonymously, “I feel gross and ashamed”.
“Actually my doctor also encouraged me to look.”
“When I told her I was having stomach issues she asked about my poop, and I couldn’t actually say much about the shape or colour LMAO.”
Another user in the same AskReddit thread also brought up that some people apparently don’t check the toilet paper after wiping (what are you, animals?).
“I didn’t realise until my boyfriend had a long convo about this with his friends, but apparently there are some people who DON’T CHECK!
“And not only that, they thought he was weird for checking. What insanity is this? How do you know when you’re done wiping?”
Fortunately, I ran a follow-up poll to double-check this and am pleased to report that no Skidmarks Mcgees have entered the chat. Over 95% of people said that they do in fact check. But, to the one person who said no, allegedly accidentally, lemme just put it as another friend said in a reply to the poll: “To the people who say no, I don’t believe them.”