God bless Sir Richard Branson.

We have the charismatic British billionaire to thank for music via Virgin Records, flights via Virgin Airlines and sweaty balls via Virgin Active.

The Virgin Active enterprise has been around in Australia for a decade now, with six high-tech clubs dotting the perimeters of our sunburnt country. Once you go to one of these gyms, it’s near impossible to go back to your regular haunt; doing that would be like chasing Mumm with Yellow.

And now a seventh club is set to open next week that promises to bring “never-before-seen fitness experiences” to Sydney. We’re talking the vintage Veuve Clicquot of fitness experiences. Proper fancy.

Virgin Active’s Barangaroo Collection Club is opening it’s diamond-encrusted doors* on March 26th, that promises to showcase Virgin Active’s vision for the future of fitness.

The Managing Director of Virgin Active Australia, Scott Hood, says they’ll be slinging “irresistible exercise experiences”, with every aspect of the club and classes tailored to create a polysensory experience. We’re not entirely sure what that means, but it sounds sick.

“Everything from the design, materials, program, music and staff has been rethought to build a culture and program that encourages, nurtures and cultivates a feel-good exercise experience,” said Hood in a statement.

“The Collection will offer an irresistible exercise experience to the Australian market, where being active is not just determined by the intensity of a workout, it is an immersive journey to improving your health, mind-set and mood.”

Think a concierge welcome, cycle shoes in your size ready on arrival, complimentary smoothies, green juices and cold scented towels after every workout, luxurious 5-Star amenities, phone chargers in every locker and a Dyson Supersonic™ blow-dry bar every Thursday and Friday Night – and that’s just the amenities.

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The club will offer a range of classes that have some of the most extra descriptions we’ve ever heard.

First up, there’s the RevolutionTM Cycle, a spin class with custom designed bikes fit for dancing and doing push-ups.

There’ll also be a FocusTM Boxing class with choreographed air blasts (I don’t know what this means but it sounds like it would either really hurt, or make you look like a windswept Beyoncé a la Single Ladies), ozone cleaned gloves and personal lighting over each aqua punch bag.

The BurnTM Strength & Cardio is an 45-min interval class with choreographed lighting and music to keep you energised and not wanting to cry despite the fact that cardio feels like the devil trying to escape through your every pore.

Outdoor Calibration is the fourth class that “marries the principles of biomechanics, athletic mobility, core stability drills and yoga to make members the strongest and most mindful runner they can be”.

Phew. If you’re not already exhausted by those descriptions alone, you can head down and try out the club when it opens on Monday, March 26th.

Memberships are $60 per week on a 12-month membership and $75 on a flexible membership. You can read more about membership here.

*We don’t actually know if the doors of the club will be diamond encrusted. But we’re holding out hope.

Image: Supplied