Ah, The Sims. That is one fucked up game, I will have you know – if you haven’t played it, in which case lmao are you for real, go buy Sims 2 and a bunch of expansion packs right NOW from your local Vinnies (they’re like $2, I bought one the other day) and log off the world for a month. Then come back here and continue reading. Good? Good.

I was a very invested Sims player in my teen years. That was around the time of Sims 2, with a hint of Sims 3 but then I hated the format and returned to trusty Sims 2.

I am absolutely a closet psychopath because the shit I did to my Sims was FUCKED. UP. For example, in Year 12 I was studying The Troubles (the period in Irish history in which many Northern Irish folks were murdered or imprisoned inhumanely). I was so inspired by my studies that I made an entire town that consisted solely of “Irish” Sims families. Each family had as many kids as the game would allow, and they all had traditional Irish names like Caoimhe and Niamh. Oh, and I casually made a fucking JAIL HOUSE with tiny, one metre by one metre cells in which I imprisoned all the men! Because they were in the IRA! And then they died due to malnourishment. I know, I should probably go to jail myself. This is all of you, to me.

Another favourite was to make a large family and then murder the dad (the breadwinner, in Sims land I was not remotely a feminist) leaving the wife to feed her children via selling artworks she painted for $50. Good lord, I’m judging MYSELF right now.

ANYWAYYYYY. It was rare that my Sims died accidentally. I usually forced them into a tragic death (hello, who didn’t delete pool rails on unsuspecting swimmers in their Sims time) or used the death cheating thingy to dump UFO’s on their head.

But apparently some people had Sims that DID die by accident – often in really bizarre and frankly, how-the-fuck-even ways. And now they’re sharing said deaths on Twitter. Here are my favourites.

Just wonderful stuff. If you love Sims dying, which clearly I… do. Sorry.

Image: EA Games