Nazis, Milkshakes & Psychedelics: We Had A Crack At The New ‘Wolfenstein’

The Wolfenstein franchise is by far and away one of the most important in video game history. Hell, Wolfenstein 3D basically birthed the entire first-person shooter genre, so even if you’re not particularly into those kinds of games, it still demands your respect, dammit.
While there’s been plenty of reboots over the years, the latest is easily the most story-driven of the lot, detailing a horrific alternate history where Germany won World War II. The upcoming title, Wolfenstein: The New Colossus, continues along this timeline.

The previous game, Wolfenstein: The New Order, sets the groundwork for this premise and while it’s not essential to have played it before picking up The New Colossus later this year, I would highly bloody recommend it. Not only is it a fantastic game, it also introduces you to important characters, making it easier to understand moving forward.

Continuing where The New Order left off, you’re thrown back into the shoes of BJ Blaskowicz as he absolutely obliterates hoards of nazis to take back the now German-occupied USA. It sounds like a simple premise and in a way, it is, but the cast of characters and detailed world interaction makes it all the richer.

I was lucky enough to give the first level of the game a whirl at E3 back in June and even luckier to get an extended play last week. Without giving too much of the story away, here’s what I think about it so far.

During the first level of the game, Blaskowicz is confined to a wheelchair, tasking you to stay the fuck alive as the boat you’re on is stormed by the enemy. Interestingly, the wheelchair becomes part of the gameplay, offering interesting obstacles that otherwise wouldn’t be an issue.

For example, while you’re escaping via a conveyor belt, some asshole nazi reverses its direction just as you hit an incline, causing you go tumbling back down. Any other game would have you merely sprint up that shit, but not this one. You now have to find a whole new way to get to the objective.

If you’ve played The New Order, you’ll be pretty familiar with how the game handles already. Its fast-paced, fluid gunplay feels mighty similar to its predecessor and each weapon still feels like it packs a punch in its own way.

But it wasn’t until the next demo that the gravity of the game’s alternate reality began to sink in. I was tasked with ferrying an atom bomb disguised as a fire extinguisher to a location inside Area 52 and blowing it to smithereens. Walking through the streets of New Mexico, I encountered heavily armed soldiers, a Nazi parade and members of the KKK just waltzing around in full garb. It’s insanely grim.

After making it to the first objective, I encountered an overbearing Nazi idiot who fucking loves strawberry milkshakes. I know this because he actually said it.

As gnarly as the whole scenario is, it’s littered with elements of dark humour that, while entertaining, do little to lighten tense situations like this. The New Colossus keeps you on edge at all times and it’s one helluva thrilling ride.

I made it into a hectic Nazi train station base thing and really fucked up by just shooting the first guard I saw. This unleashed a beehive of activity as alarms alerted everyone to my presence. Great.

I should also point out that the game looks insanely good. These gifs don’t really do it justice, but the graphical quality has really been amped up this time around. Even being hunted by laser-shooting nazi robots looks amazing, but also terrifying.

I won’t give away too much more of the mission, but let’s just say i dun did a good job.

While we still don’t know whether or not we’ll get to step into the shoes of any characters while they’re tripping balls on acid, the E3 reveal trailer definitely showed some psychedelic use. You can check it out below.


I absolutely cannot wait to get my hands on the full version of this game. If what I’ve seen and played so far is any indication, it’s going to be a bloody pearler.

Wolfenstein: The New Colossus is due out on the 27th of October.


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