Tara Pavlovic, who was robbed harder of The Bachelor than Shannon Noll was in 2003, pretty much recapped last night’s episode of The Bachelorette and it’s just a real bloody treat.
Last night saw Sophie Monk‘s family go undercover and suss out six of the fellas vying for her love and/or attention. For some reason, Bingham was wearing one of those sloth monkey things around his neck.
“I noticed the guy had like a sloth around his neck,” said Tara in her Instagram story. “Am I missing something? Did something happen last week? Or is that, like, a new thing?”
NOBODY ELSE CAN FIGURE IT OUT, EITHER.
https://twitter.com/matwhi/status/912996067121160192
Gimmicks were meant to be confined to night one, Bingham. I’m sorry you need a personality substitute and also that your parents hate you.
Moving on.
Tara, like pretty much everyone else in Australia, agrees that Sophie Monk is the greatest Bachelor/ette this country has ever had the pleasure of tuning into on a weekly basis.
“I’m fluent in potty mouth as WELL,” she screamed at the television at one point. Oh mate, we know.
Ryan later told Sophie that he doesn’t “like a woman who swears”. You uh… sure about that, Ryan?
“‘I don’t like a woman who swears’,” quoted Tara. “You’re on the wrong show, buddy!”
Agreed.
And you know how everyone agreed that Jarrod is a stage five clinger and person most likely in the house to keep a lock of Sophie’s hair under his pillow?
“Alright, I feel like we have a new murderer in the house,” said Tara. YES WE DO MATE, SOMEONE CALL THE COPS.
Skipping forward to the end of the episode: Sophie sent three randos home who nobody can quite remember. I think one was the breakdancing guy?
The exact moment @oshergunsberg tries to remember who the hell those three guys are #bacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/WicWD4vkbq
— feliz navidud (@DesignedToFade) September 27, 2017
“Off to the Maccas drive thru you three go!” Tara cakcled. “Enjoy your chicken and cheeseburgers.”
BYEEEEEEE!
I sweat to GOD, Channel 10, if Tara isn’t the Bachelorette next year, there will be motherfucken’ riots.
Mates – go watch her entire Instagram story now before it’s too late.
