On tonight’s episode of The Bachelor: a whole lotta nothin’, to be perfectly honest with you. Where was the drama, the pizzazz, the WALKOUT we were promised?!
Cool that Ten has spent all week teasing a “dramatic walkout” without mentioning it’s a dramatic walkout OF A ROOM INTO ANOTHER ROOM #thebachelorau
— Bachelor of Hearts Podcast 🌹 (@BOHpod) August 7, 2019
At least we’ll always have the one thing we’ve come to rely on from this particular branch of the sickly, self-loathing reality TV tree: contestants’ truly insane and inexcusable behaviour.
Tonight’s spokesmodel for the batshit among us: Nichole!
The blonde sports enthusiast has already rankled our resident Bachie commentators, Josie and Mel, for being a little overenthusiastic about the whole “sports” thing – like, to the point where it’s getting both one-note and tedious. We get it! You like sports!
Apparently, though, it is not enough to merely be a girl who likes sports. Nichole must be the ONLY girl who likes sports.
[jwplayer TbIvUgrd]
So unsurprisingly the appearance of (checks notes) Monique – there are too many women on this show I swear to god, I can barely remember my own family’s names – didn’t go down too well! Another girl? Who like sport??? NO!!!!!!!!
The stalwart viewers of Australia did not let this one slide. Only-girl-ism: it’s not a good look, even on a TV show specifically designed to pit women against each other. This cattiness will not stand!
https://twitter.com/jamesogrady56/status/1159051434123358209
https://twitter.com/charlottes_web0/status/1159051451550715905
https://twitter.com/ashrannomarrey/status/1159051404423520258
I cannot stress enough that before you go on this show, you should understand the basic premise of this show. #TheBachelorAU
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) August 7, 2019
Nichole with a rose. #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/7JJv07GBH5
— Zoe (@Lunaamikaelson) August 7, 2019
Nichole when another girl gets a date card even though she just had a date two hours earlier #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/0JdJ5KECwC
— Nathan (@nathanbrown90) August 7, 2019
Like Nichole, I too attract mates by listing sports I have participated in. #TheBachelorAU
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) August 7, 2019
I don’t know much about women, but when she says ‘I’m good..’, she most certainly is not good 😬#TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/Eh6Ox1ua86
— Trav Roebuck (@Trav_Roebuck) August 7, 2019
https://twitter.com/mcfilip/status/1159051087917150208
Nich-hole is the drama llama. #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/yx8ZH3G8ku
— Merry Keatingmas (@D_Keating) August 7, 2019
‘she’s a blonde bitch with tan’ that is half these girls but go off #TheBachelorAU
— Jessica (@Cupperzzz) August 7, 2019
Nicole comes off a single date and is salty she didn’t get the next single date…#TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/THuWxYmuVI
— Nessa Vee (@NessaFayBayBay) August 7, 2019
Lmaooo Nichole is Monique’s under study #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/tolnVYybw2
— Hanni (@hannifahakbari) August 7, 2019
And then there’s all the other, regular, run-of-the-mill batshit stuff that happened, like a contestant exhorting Matt to find things… in her bush… and uh, some other shit too I guess.
https://twitter.com/RosieWaterland/status/1159050324448952320
Elly is 24, a five-year relationship under her belt, a caring nurse, excited and ready to meet The One, genuinely invested. I’m 28 and I’m excited if I can find both shoes in the morning #TheBachelorAU
— Tahlia Pritchard (@Tahls) August 7, 2019
WAIT! What happened to the OTHER Peruvian girl??! Has someone checked she is ok? #TheBachelorAU #BachelorAu pic.twitter.com/Rnpyp0wFkT
— Elle (@ElleChandler) August 7, 2019
me at 17, drunk outside a shed party after I saw my crush pashing another girl while Yeah by Usher was playing #TheBachelorAUpic.twitter.com/WFa5Vqhthf
— Batch Bitch Podcast 💍 (@batchbitchpod) August 7, 2019
“I don’t know how to play this AFL sh*t”. Mary is our spirit animal. #TheBachelorAU 7.30 tonight. pic.twitter.com/Jx2hbIfKmV
— The Bachelor Australia 🌹 (@TheBachelorAU) August 7, 2019
And yeah, what the hell happened to that walkout? I want to see an astrophysicist scold a gaggle of grown women like they’re naughty Year 9s who’ve acted up one too many times this term! If this doesn’t happen next ep I swear to god I shall SCREAM (and continue watching. Lol there’s no escaping this shit now).
