The trailer for 2019’s The Bachelor just dropped, giving us our first glimpse at the batshit bunch vying for Matt Agnew’s heart in the next season of the Channel Ten dating series.
As any Bachie nut would be aware, the first ep of each season is an absolute carnival of crazy with the contestants rocking up wearing out-there clothes, carrying gimmicky items and having incredibly awkward convos with the man of the hour.
This year is no different! Here’s a bunch of wild stuff you’ll find in the trailer.
1. “I’m a Gemini”
Ever since it was announced that this year’s Bachie works in astrophysics, I just bloody knew that the whole astronomy vs astrology debate would be raised and ladies and gents, here it is front and centre in the premiere ep.
The first cab off the rank, so to speak, is a bubbly character by the name of Abbie.
After Matt tells her what he does, she responds, “I’m a Gemini.”
Now, if Matt Galea (that’s me) was on a first date and the bloke started probing him about star signs, he’d probably ask for his hand in marriage right then and there.
Matt Agnew, however? Not so much. He responded with a shocked “um, yeah, um” in his confessional and reluctantly told Abbie that he’s a Leo (OF COURSE he is).
u wot m8?
Opposing views on astrology aside though, Leos and Geminis are generally v. compatible so our girl Abbie might just be a strong contender for Matty boi’s other half.
2. In a galaxy far, far away
Boy, the producers are really milking the whole astro vibe this season, aren’t they?
They had Matt hurtling to Earth like a snacc-worthy comet in the first teaser, they’ve got him sitting on a giant crescent moon in a promo pic and now he’s analysing constellations.
3. The fate of the planet
In the past, we’ve had an athlete, a physio and a PT as Bachelors (to name a few), but this is the first time we’ve had a scientist, of sorts, looking for love.
It was easy to meld the silliness of the competition in with, say, Honey Badger’s Aussie larrikin persona but there’s something quite jarring about discussing the fate of the planet when you’re meeting girls dressed up in whacko costumes who will one day go on to endorse teeth whitening products.
“As an astrophysicist, I get to research and try and find another planet for future generations to live on,” he proudly says.
Was joining The Bachelor worth putting the fate of the world on hold?
We’ll see, it depends on how spicy this season is, TBH.
4. The fucking tripod
As Matt’s mouthing off about his achievements and blah blah blah, we see more women walk over to him, one of whom is holding a camera tripod in one hand (?) and a basket in the other (??).
Not sure what this chick’s deal is: Is she going to wow him with her photog prowess? Does she not trust the Bachie producers to take the photo for her? Is she going to snap a pic to show their grandkids one day when they ask how they met?
On that note, will The Bachelor be a thing 40 years from now? Or will we be bereft of technology, living on some fancy shmancy new planet that Matt discovered in between Bachie dates?
The mind boggles.
5. ~*YoU cAn’T hAvE a CuDdLe WiTh A pHd*~
6. Red carpet ready
The next gimmicky entrance is a girl who rocks up with a red carpet, presumably because she’s too chic to enter any building without making a grand entrance.
7. On ur bike
One chick rocks up on a dirt bike, perhaps as a metaphor that she’s prepared to pull all the dirty tricks necessary to become Mrs. Spaceman.
8. What happens in Vegas…
Then we have a showgirl who forces Matt to show off his dance moves.
He gives it a red hot go, bless him.
9. Accept this rose, binch
Because it’s 2019, this chick isn’t waiting on no man to give her a rose.
Nay, she’s come armed with her own mini-bud and she’s manifesting lurve by gifting it to him right off the bat.
Bold move, but I dig it.
10. Here comes the bride
As Matt’s voiceover says, “I want marriage and kids,” a contestant dressed in a full-on bridal gown arrives, bridesmaid in tow, carrying her train.
Having a girl arrive to a first date in a wedding dress is probably every man’s worst nightmare.
11. BAI LEO
Unless you’re the Charmed One’s Whitelighter, no one should be addressed as Leo, or any star sign, for that matter.
Better be careful Abbie, doll. You’re losin’ him.
All in all, I’d say we’re in for a cracker of a season! Cop the full trailer below:
The Bachelor is coming soon to Network 10Image: Channel Ten