Like anyone out there (with the guts to actually admit it to themselves), I love myself a solid reality dating show. It reminds me I’m not the only superficial monster going soft and/or dry over someone’s height, which is nice.
Channel 7‘s new show Take Me Out is real good at unburying these cooked yet instilled checklist qualities we want and need in a partner. You see, a dude is literally lowered into the dating arena like a scene from The mother-flipping Hunger Games, and plonked in front of a 30-girl strong panel.
He then has to try and convince them he’s worth dating, which is a hard enough thing to do with just one human tbh. If the girls don’t like what they see they simply turn their light off and bow out, taking the concept of being turned off to a whole new, literal level.
The whole premise of the show is “no likey, no lighty”, which I’m certain can only ever be said in a voice crafted specifically for speaking to an infant.
Yes, people turn off their lights based on physical appearance alone and yes it is savage and yes it makes for quality viewing. (You’ve got to admit though, it’s a refreshing change from The Bachelor where each and every fame-hungry contestant is automatically attracted to the fame-hungry suitor who may or may not be their type on paper.)
People sometimes care about what’s on the inside too (weird, I know), so the girls are then awarded the opportunity to really get to know the fella.
How?
Through scripted videos, of course, including but not limited to: their passions (I’m a PT so me girl has to be fit yo), their values (I’m a family man family comes first etc etc I love me dog) and a wildly transparent business plug. There’s gotta be a reason people humiliate themselves like this, right? And I bet it rhymes with linstacram.
Throughout the “getting to know each other process” the girls’ lights start turning off like the thought of your birth-givers doing the wild thing. Hosted by self-professed TV whore Joel Creasey, the girls are constantly questioned as to why they tapped out and everything from “you sound like a bogan” to “you’re good from afar but far from good” are whipped out in all their schadenfreude glory.
By the time it gets to the last round, the power, for once, is finally in the suitor’s hands. He’s asked to filter the lights that are left on to just two final contenders, before choosing just one to take out on the Goldy.
They then walk off together and live happily ever after in an apartment above Macca‘s on Cavill Ave. I mean, maybe. You find out during the following episode whether things went sweet or sour.
If the show’s format is sounding familiar well that’s because it is. You may know the same show from the UK, or perhaps you’ve caught the cult hit Chinese show If You Are The One while flicking thru the channels. And just quietly? I have a feeling “no likey, no lighty” is going to be of widespread use by 2019 so please feel free to give birth to a small child in the meanwhile.
Take Me Out premieres tonight, September 3rd at 7.30pm on Channel 7. You can catch up on eps here.
