Hello mother. This post contains SPOILERS for RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3: Episode 2 – If you don’t wanna see what’s under this wig, then sissy that walk right outta here.
We’re back, hunties! Like boob tubes, the boys in town, and that questionable fish you had last night, we’ve returned for a second round of rucapping Drag Race All Stars 3.
If you didn’t catch our rundown of the premiere last week, then untuck yourself and catch up on the tea below.
The first queen has sashayed away from the competition, but it’s looking like it’s not going to be the last we see of Morgan McMichaels.
Courtney Fry: Hieeee Alasdair my favourite shady bitch, this week’s episode is so good. But firstly, do you think BenDeLaCreme did the right thing in eliminating Morgan? I think DeLa was playing a smart game by getting rid of a threat, but having to spin some crap about deciding through ‘group consensus’ so it didn’t look like she was kicking out fierce competition. Bitch it’s everyone for themselves out there, girl, and you know it.
Alasdair Duncan: I was curious to see more of Morgan, because she is one mean, funny lady, and because I loved her workroom look last week – she was one of the few queens who gave me the big hair I so desperately crave. That said, I think DeLa was wise to send home a potential threat, especially as Morgan explicitly said she was coming for the strongest competition, and I mean … nobody seems to miss her that much now she’s gone?
Courtney: I’m super excited to see what Chi Chi is going to bring to the game now that she a) managed to make it through the bottom two with those shoes, and b) knows that Aja was going to give her the boot. She talked big game after finding out that she narrowly escaped elimination so I want to see her follow through on that.
Alasdair: Apparently there was a lot more to last week’s main challenge than we saw – a friend pointed me to the Alright Mary podcast, and it seems Chi Chi’s routine killed it in dress rehearsals, but she cut her hand badly at some point. If you look closely at her main stage performance in the episode, you can apparently see where she is bandaged up. She clearly sucked it up and decided “the show must go on” so she performed while she was hurt, dropping the baton several times in the process – if that’s true, then it definitely puts Aja’s call to eliminate her in a newer, much shadier light.
Courtney: Oh shit that’s super heavy, I mean it makes sense as to why she didn’t look as polished as we all know she can be, but yeah that makes Aja’s decision seem all the more ominous.
Okay, it’s time for the maxi-challenge (no mini challenge? boo) and oh my lord it’s a reboot of VH1 Divas with a lip-sync extravaganza tribute to RuPaul. I am unequivocally here for this. These divas are gunna be beat to the gawds.
Alasdair: I’m also a little disappointed when RuPaul arrives in the workroom and gets straight to handing out characters for the main challenge. Mainly because this means we won’t get to see the queens doing each-other’s makeup in the dark or participating in heavily sexual egg and spoon races or any of that other fun mini-challenge stuff. Still, I love me a diva, and Ru clearly thought long and hard about matching each queen to her respective legendary performer.
It’ll be hard to top this, but Aja can try.
Let’s go ahead and break down who’s playing who. Celine Dion is funnier and weirder than people realise, and Milk is not known for her comedy, so I’m a bit skeptical about this one, but sure. Nothing about Kennedy screams Janet Jackson but hey, she could pull off a nip slip or something. Amy Winehouse is a great choice for Aja as they’re both such charismatic, messy bitches (RIP, Amy). I know very little about Patti LaBelle but I love Chi Chi so I hope she brings it. Bebe is an actual crowned queen so she is qualified to play Diana Ross, and DeLa can have a lot of campy fun with Julie Andrews.
Trixie Mattel is already a big-haired blonde country singer so Dolly Parton isn’t that much of a stretch, while Shangela is smart enough to have a lot of fun with Mariah Carey. That just leaves Thorgy Thor as Stevie Nicks, which I’m still too grumpy to talk about. GODDAMMIT, Thorgy is well and truly back on her bullshit this week, huh?
Courtney: How’s Thorgy coming out here saying “I’m trying to not be a conspiracy theorist” but then also going deep on the theory that she’s not going to win because Stevie Nicks isn’t funny and she’s been written to lose? Girl, please. You’re just being a stroppy bitch.
Alasdair: I love Stevie Nicks, and I don’t mean that in the sense that I watched American Horror Story and know some of the words to ‘Landslide‘. The Wild Heart is my favourite album of all time and when my boyfriend took me to see her for my birthday last year, it was literally one of the best nights of my life. My obsession with Stevie is a little unhealthy, and suffice to say, I don’t think that Ru handicapped Thorgy in any way by assigning her this role. I think in part, I’m annoyed because Stevie Nicks could be a great, hyper-exaggerated drag character, and Thorgy could really shine in the part, but she’s choosing to grumble and moan and sabotage herself instead.
Courtney: I think as well that Thorgy is much too close to Stevie Nicks to portray a drag version of her properly. Thorgy’s clearly a purist when it comes to Stevie, so this is very likely going to work against her.
It’s also a little OTT but I love Shangela getting DEEP in that method acting of being Mariah Carey. This woman is a solid A-grade diva, and tbh acting like they’re better than everyone else is WHAT DIVAS DO. I think anyone that was given Mariah would have done the same tbh.
Courtney: THORGY STOP TALKING ABOUT BOB FOR CHRIST’S SAKE.
Alasdair: Just as a bit of an aside, I’d like to add that I’m loving how much of the workroom we are seeing this year. One of the best parts of the show is seeing the queens in front of the mirrors with their makeup half-done, trash-talking and gossiping and opening up about their fears and insecurities. That element has been missing from the more recent seasons of the show – Season 9 felt very rushed because of it- so I like that we get to see more of the All Stars queens in this light.
Courtney: YES absolutely. A lot of these people have very heavy lives, and lived experiences that need to be discussed. Workroom chat is important.
Let’s chat divas. Who were your hits and misses?
Alasdair: The biggest miss tonight might actually be the music. Mama Ru loves to shamelessly promote her own back catalogue on Drag Race, but these new versions of her songs, recorded in the style of each respective diva, sound like they were thrown together hurriedly, and sound kind of … bad? There’s no real oomph to them. I’d feel a bit resentful if I got into full diva drag and then had to lip sync to this half-cooked backing track.
Courtney: I could see that Kennedy was struggling as Janet. She had a lot of choreography and lip-sync to think about and THEN had to think about Janet’s mannerisms on top of that. As a dancer who doesn’t normally do choreography, instead opts for freestyle and improv, I can see why she struggled. In saying that, her look was still very Kennedy so she could have at least gone a bit more Janet with the makeup and styling tbh.
Alasdair: I think it’s safe to say at this point that Milk has gotten too big for her, um, carton. I love that she answered her shoe, which is an iconic Celine Dion move, but I think that’s the one thing she got right. The look was not as well-executed as some of the other girls, and she did not embody the goofiness or the effervescence that Celine does.
Courtney: DeLa was bloody strong AGAIN in this challenge. Her Dame Julie Andrews rapping along to ‘Call Me Mother’, which is damned near impossible at the best of times, was some serious game. She’s a very strong player in this series, which is both great for performance and entertainment value, but also puts a big target on her back if she ever finds herself in the bottom two.
Alasdair: This might be controversial but when all was said and done, I thought that Thorgy’s Stevie Nicks was actually fine? Not the best but not the worst. Shangela got one heck of a leg up on the other girls, because her Mariah Carey ‘song’ was mostly spoken word, so it was already engaging, and it allowed her to lean into the comedy and diva-ness of Mimi. It was a similar story with DeLa’s Julie Andrew’s sequins … I mean, sequence. These two are so clearly top two that they might as well just skip the runway.
Category Is: Ru-demption Runway
Courtney: So the category for the walk this time is ‘Ru-demption Runway’, where queens can revisit a past look from their own season that totally bombed. What could possibly go wrong?
Alasdair: I like when the eliminated queens go to Instagram to show the looks they would have done. Morgan’s wedding look is a LOT, and I am feeling the fantasy.
Courtney: Haha Morgan looks like a virginal marshmallow. I love it.
Holy shit Shangela in that snowglobe. I am gagging for that look it’s so fucking good.
Alasdair: I may be in the minority here, but I actually loved Chi Chi’s pink neon look from Season 8, and I don’t think it needed a do-over, but I like her yellow look tonight.
Courtney: Yeah I know Michelle Visage would straight-up disagree with you there.
Courtney: Can Kennedy please stop wearing coloured contacts because one always seems to go wonky and I can’t take her seriously anymore.
Alasdair: Thorgy Thor’s yellow headpiece was very Max Headroom, and not in a good way.
Courtney: I think it was a bit rich of Milk to have a little tantrum up the back and in the workroom when she was saved. Like girl you’re not in the bottom three. Count your blessings and get over it. Your Celine was not as strong as what you thought it was – seriously if nobody told me that was Celine I would have just assumed it was another character that Milk does for shows – and your runway look, although it was more glamorous than what you were re-doing…it was too safe. There’s a good dash of Milk in that tea.
Alasdair: This about sums up my attitude to Milk right now.
Milk on tonight’s #DragRace episode pic.twitter.com/agTD37CbwN
— Mike T (@rhymeswithbeg) February 2, 2018
Courtney: Just quietly, I love that the judges are following through with cute little skits of what they’re doing while the girls are backstage. I absolutely needed to see Carson Kressley in nipple tassles this morning.
Alasdair: So we have DeLa and Shangela as our top two, and this elimination feels like it has much higher stakes than the last. Either Kennedy or Thorgy could go home but for different reasons. If Kennedy can go a few weeks without gluing things all over herself, she could make it pretty far in the competition, so strategically speaking, DeLa might choose to eliminate her. I think Thorgy’s Stevie Nicks was stronger than Kennedy’s Janet Jackson, but Thorgy’s runway was not good, and I think on that basis, Shangela will pick her.
Aaaaaaaaand, it looks like this is the correct call. Bye bye, Thorgy. Interestingly, Thorgy herself called out the music in her post-episode exit interview – she said she was given a “horribly unfunny track” to work with, so I’m glad it wasn’t just me. Maybe there WAS a conspiracy to take her down after all …
Courtney: Honestly, Thorgy deserved to go but I find it interesting that Shangela opted for relationship over tactic. Kennedy played her heartstrings well.
Alasdair: I still don’t see Kennedy winning. I think the top three going to come down to DeLa, Shangela and maybe Trixie, although Aja is actually killing it this season, and emerging as a bit of a dark horse.
Courtney: So what do we think is happening with the handmaids at the end of the first two eliminations there? I would LOVE it if they were doing a Survivor-style jury for the later episodes, and all the eliminated queens plus Chad and Alaska came back in for the finals to be the judges.
Alasdair: I would love it if there was some elaborate twist coming, but at this point I feel like we’re going to get the stock standard Drag Race episode where the eliminated queens all come back and one of them gets to stay, possibly while turfing another queen out. Morgan and Thorgy are both holding deep grudges at this point, so their revenge will be pretty sweet, although if Thorgy makes it back in, I somehow feel like she’ll try and bring Bob The Drag Queen back into the competition to eliminate her out of spite.
